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ok... here's another with one of the papers from me and liz's new kit. i did this the other day when i had just reach a boiling point with alyssa.... which is pretty often these days. sigh... i felt better after i got it all out, but man... it is TOUGH!!!!

JOURNALING: There has to be a better way. There has to be something I’m missing. Why does she not know how to communicate yet? How come she tells me what she wants by pointing into mid-air and letting out a peircing squeal. Once I figure out what it is that she wants, I always say the words and have her repeat them back to me as best she can, yet she asks for the same thing an hour later... finger pointing at nothing and sqealing. I am so tired. My “limit” is, by the DAY, becoming easier and easier to reach. I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom who is irritated all the time and speaks badly of what I do. I don’t want to complain and seem “put out” by being here with her everyday. I don’t want to get this wrong. I don’t want her to feel so frustrated. I don’t want to feel resentful. I try to simply pray about it and tell myself that it’s just a season... it will pass and one day I’ll be telling her of her attitude at 2 and laughing about it with her. But none of that does much to calm my nerves. I know it’s OK to vent and I know this is a normal phase... for me *and* her... but that doesn’t bring much comfort either when you’re going through it. I’m at a loss. I will keep going and I will keep trying. Because regardless of her disposition right now, I know that my sweet little girl is in there somewhere. I will never give up on teachinig her how to express herself in a way that isn’t so frustrating for her... or me.


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