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Wacky Watson
December 14, 2006

Dear Management

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I sraplifted the journaling from Brhode LO 'Dear Management'.

Journalling reads: Ever since I have been in your care I have been very happy for the most part. There are, however, some things which I think you do not understand about me and my rights as the family pet. Since my happiness is of paramount importance, I have compiled the following list for you:

* When I wake you at 6:00 am every morning, please don’t complain about it. I am really scared of the scary noises in the wall, which you call the heating. It makes me shake! This just shows how scared I am, so I expect you to get up and check its safe so I can get back to my beauty sleep. So get over it!

* I also dislike that scary cupboard that makes lots of noises – the dishwasher – and would rather you get rid of it. What use is it anyway?

* My toys are not – I repeat not – to be thrown in the bin. For example, I had just got my Monkeys just how I wanted them - smelling good, looking just right with no eyes - and off you put them in the bin. You did replace them but don’t you realise I now have to start all over again!

* When I demand attention … I need it. So if I stroll up to you, sit on you or bring you something, I expect your full attention. No carrying on with work, knitting, scrap booking, card making – whatever – I am most important. Got it?

* You must never leave the house without me without good reason. If I can come I expect too. I don’t care whether it is down the drive and back again when you move the car or if it’s a trip to the big fields in Cranford. I am going!

* Lastly, I know you think that it is your beds that I am taking over but I am only letting you on it so I have someone to cuddle with. Now if you do not let me get where I want to be or kick me off in the night I will not let you on it. Simple as that! I expect to see you move if you are in my way when I am ready for bed (being asleep is no excuse) and lights must be out by 9.00pm – My bedtime!

See how hard was that? It is my hope that this letter will serve to clear up any misunderstandings we may have. Please don’t take any of this personally … I think you just don’t know how to treat ROYALTY. From here on out, I expect my wishes to be carried out with no complaints. Rest assured that if my needs are met, “Our Home” will be a much better place.


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Thanks for spreading positivity!

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