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All Red...
October 9, 2007

The Accident

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My DD Fiona severd her fingers in a door. The journaling is tucked behind the patterned paper it is long so don't feel as if you have to read it. This picture was so hard to scrap! Such an emotional time!

Journaling:We went to McDonald’s for lunch because I was tired. Gwen was still not sleeping through the night and I had no food in the house. So we ran our errands and decided that lunch out would be easier. First stop the bathroom, I wanted everyone to go so we would not have to get up during our meal and we needed to wash our hands. I opened the door and Miles held it open for us. Thinking everyone was out he let go….the next thing I hear is a scream. I will never forget the sound it still haunts me to this day. I set the baby carrier down and Miles had reopened the door but it was to late. When I first looked at your little fingers they just looked badly pinched, until the fell backward, severed almost completely off. I lost it, you lost it, Gwen lost it. All I could think of was your wedding day! I know it sounds strange but it’s what went through my mind. By know there are people all around us, comforting the baby, calming me down, I was just holding on to you. A gentleman asked if he should call 911. Yes please do, I think I answered if not me then someone else. Someone brought ice, the police came, and then the ambulance. The policeman brought you a bear that you called Doctor and I answered lots of questions. You had stopped crying and everyone was amazed at how good you were. We got ready to go in the ambulance when they told me the boys could not come with us. There were not enough seatbelts. So I called poppa and he left work to come and get them. I left them alone in the care of the McDonald’s manager until he got there. I know she gave them happy meals and coloring books. The boys don’t talk about this so that is all I know. We went to the hospital, you on the stretcher holding your bear and me sitting next to you with the baby. The Emergency tech explained to me that the best surgeon the hospital had was on call that day and I would not need to wait for a plastic surgeon. I could see the hands of God taking care of us. At the hospital a nurse named Orie took care of you until the doctor arrived. I fed Gwen and she fell asleep. Then I held you and you fell asleep. I could not believe how strong you were! Your hand must have been in so much pain and is was beginning to smell, but there you slept. I just prayed for it all to end, for your fingers to get better, that there would be no infection. The Doctor came and explained to me that he would be able to stitch your fingers back together and that in children under 4 there was a 95% chance they would grow back. He would have to numb your hand and sheet wrap you so you would lay still. Still you slept on. He went to go prep and when you woke up two hours later we were ready. By this time your poppa and brothers had arrived and baby Gwen was the hit of the ER. Everyone wanted to hold her and play with her! I could just focus on you. You cried and screamed when the nurse sheet wrapped you and gave you the numbing shots in your hand. But after that you just laid there and watched the cartoon that had put on for you. You were so strong! Poppa almost fainted at the smell and sight but not you my sweet baby! I was just praying for it to be over; forgotten, but realizing that this would forever be a part of you. We were able to take you home around 4:00, four hours after the accident. The nurse showed me how to care for your fingers and wrap them. I had to use this special non-stick gauze pad, then wrap them tightly so they would not get bumped. You were so good and would sit so still. We saw a plastic surgeon for 6 weeks to make sure everything healed correctly, to watch for infection, and that you would not need any corrective surgery. We prayed for you every minute it seemed, it consumed us, and we thought of nothing else; we could do nothing else. You were only two and a half years old when this happened and you are forever changed. God gave us a miracle in the healing. Both of your nails grew back and the ring finger looks normal. Only the pinky is a bit pinched, the surgeon told us that by the time you were grown it would not even be noticeable. But you remember, you who used to do everything with you left hand no longer use it. You call it the “owie” hand and keep is safely by your side. You (and everyone else) are overly cautions around doors, we always use the handicap entrance for safety and no one opens any door unless its an adult. My sweet Fiona I am so sorry this happened to you!! I saw it as my fault, If only I hadn’t been carrying the baby in the carrier, if only I hadn’t let Miles be in charge of the door, if only, if only, if only….. But then I had to give it to Jesus, it was just an accident and there is a purpose for everything. God gives us the strength to move on . Someday soon it will be a distant memory, even if it was one that changed our lives forever.


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