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This is a LO of me when I was a child. The Journaling is actually a poem I found online written by Lynne Montgomery called The Affair. I Just fits my situation perfectly. I was adopted from birth and I have always felt the way that she talks about in this poem. The poem reads:
We weren't together very long.
No sooner than I'd opened my eyes,
you'd disappeared before them.
It seemed magical;
Faster than the speed of light,
I was momentarily blinded.

I often wonder if you still think of me-
of our brief love affair.
How long did it last exactly-?
Nine, ten months perhaps?
My memory deceives me.
Yet, still I think of you constantly.

On the day you said goodbye,
What was my reaction, do you recall?
I imagine I slept right through it.
Or maybe, I was so captivated by your smile
that I didn't realize, did not comprehend,
that you were leaving me.
If I'd been more attentive, I might have
cried out and tried to stop you-
Especially if I'd known it was to be forever.
That is a mighty long time.

If one day, we would meet again
Whether on the street, in a crowd, an alley,
Would you pass me by, turning away
without the slightest hint of recognition
reflected in your eyes?

Would you not return the smile
I extended toward you?
For it is most certainly your smile as well.
I would even embrace you, if you allowed it.

I know, we were involved only briefly-
But, I wonder if your feelings
for me have subsided.
I imagine it does not matter-
For I go on loving you.
We are blood and so we are one.
You are my mother.


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