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Crystalyn
November 16, 2007

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Ok, I'm back, and so is my sappy journaling. ;) We have over a month before her next birthday but it's still hitting me early, she's growing up and I'm not ready... *sigh*

Journaling:
Age is just a number, right? So why is it that as we approach your next birthday, I am scared to death of the number 4? As my beautiful baby girl, you were so curious about life. Everything I did delighted you and brought out that sweet smile. As a fumbling toddler, you yearned for new experiences and I did my best to keep up with you. Now as your fourth birthday is rapidly approaching, I’m beginning to panic. You’re no longer a toddler, far from a baby; you’re quickly becoming a little girl. You hunger for knowledge, for answers to everything. You ask questions with the voice of a baby and the eloquence of a school girl. You strive for independence yet still crave the comfort of your hand in mine. You argue with the attitude of a teenager yet fall to tears as only a child can. You are a source of constant contradictions and I don’t know how to handle it. Am I teaching you too much, or not saying enough? Am I holding you back or pushing you too hard? Have I started you on a path that will lead to your success? All these questions and worries that I am not prepared for. I’m not ready. Even though it’s just a number, 4 is a dreaded thought, and I’m just not ready to face it.


TFL!


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