This is basically the summed up story of my relationship with my husband, eddie. the reason he looks so ill in this pic is because his kidneys were failing at the time. The handmade envelope contains ten memories, which I will share bits and pieces of. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story:
Memory #1: I was 12 years old, give or take. I wrote in my diary that I wanted to marry a boy named Eddie. I wished that he would have brown eyes and curly brown hair. He was to be very intelligent, kind of serious, but also funny. Memory#2: We were in the front seats, me and Jason. You and Dan were in the back. You and I weren't dating yet. I think I was about 14, so you would have been 16. I had just finished telling Jason that Alan was my second favorite name, besides Eddie. Then I found out that Alan was your middle name. Memory #3:You had been working at Young Life camp for a month. I cried every day, missing you as only a teenage girl can miss her boyfriend. One the day you came home, we arranged to meet in my backyard, by the trampoline. I can still remember how I felt when you walked around the corner - it was like seeing my dearest love and a stranger at the same time. I was completely overcome. Memory #4: The night before our wedding, we set up the reception hall. Caleb, Erin, and Amanda were there to help (and goof off with). I remember that I kept thinking you were so cute, and how did I get so lucky? Memory #5: I was in labor with Naomi. Every contraction, you hugged my head and the pain was somehow greatly lessened. Memory#6: I walked through the door and my mom said, "dr. Crouser just called. Eddie's labs show he has no kidney function left. He needs to go to the e.r. tonight for dialysis." Had it really gotten that bad? You were upstairs sleeping, and it was so hard to wake you with this devastating news. Memory#7: At some point you said to me, "I feel like I could die today." You were so sick every minute, but you rarely let people know. Memory #8: You were in the hospital again, but they had you feeling a bit better. I laid in your bed with you and we watched some show about scary movies. It almost felt normal. My thoughts of you were all fear mixed with deep, deep love. They wanted you to limit your phosphorous, but I kept trying to get you to drink choc. milk anyway, since you love it so much. I had seen you hooked up to the dialysis machine at least 10 times over the past several months, but in the hospital it was scarier, somehow. Memory #9 The morning of your transplant - we had stayed up all night (you figured it would help the anastesia work). We had to be in Cleveland so early! Your dad went in first. I kept thinking how terrified you both must have been (but neither would admit it). I knew in the back of my mind that I could lose you. But this was a good thing, I reminded myself. After hours and hours of waiting, someone let me back in the post-operation area. You were so pale. I kissed your head - it was clammy. You spoke to me a little, but you were very out of it. I was washed over with a huge feeling of need - I had needed to see you, just like I needed you to get better and be my husband for the rest of my life. Memory #10: I have had this unexplainable desire to kiss your incision since the surgery, but didn't. The other day I finally did. You didn't flinch.