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Coretta
March 15, 2007

My Friend

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Journaling is pretty long on this. This was written by my husband and read at the funeral. http://www.scrapbook.com/forums/showtopic.php?tid/1406817/tp/1/ imperfect life challenge :

My Friend
By Marco Barajas

There’s no greater joy brought to the heart of a father than that of his children. Matthew was not my son in a biological sense. He was a son adopted through love, concern, and dedication to a physical and spiritual well-being. Matthew filled my soul with some of the best memories I could ever have. He brought smiles to my face, trials for my heart, joy for my being, memories for my soul, and love for my spirit. I’ll never forget the brightness of his crooked smile, the determination of a spirit filled with eagerness and energy, and a heart overflowing with love and compassion for those who proved themselves trustworthy.

This is my dedication to a best friend and Son.

Matthew, I don’t know how many times I’ve cried in an effort to get your attention. I can’t count the tireless nights I’ve spent searching my soul for the answers to the questions of your frustrated heart. All I know now is my heart rests easy knowing that God, in his infinite mercy, has created a place of comfort that we all can partake of if our souls are found in submission to Him when He calls us up. It is there that I wish to see you when He calls for me.
When I told you I wanted to be your friend, what I really meant was that I wanted to be your best friend. I wanted to teach you how to drive, I wanted to show you how a Christian man cares for, protects his family and loves his wife, I wanted to answer all of your silly and serious questions, I wanted to be there for you every time you needed a helping hand, I wanted to pick you up when life became too difficult and it seemed that there was no where to go but home..
We went through some trying times together Matt. Sometimes I didn’t know when to believe you, other times I was so tired of people not understanding you, I wanted to scream my lungs out at them. I think I can confidently say that I was on the right track to figuring you out. I can remember the first time I saw you. We were at church. You sat all by yourself on the front pew. You wore a yellow shirt with blue palm trees, unbuttoned, a white shirt underneath and a shell necklace. I knew you were unique as you didn’t share the same style with the rest of your family. As I got to know you better there was no doubt in my mind that you were different. There was a time when I was told that you could never live in a home with all your siblings because you required too much “one-on-one” time. I was also told that you were not capable of expressing love. I know now that if those people looked beyond medicine and the ignorance and silliness of men they would have seen and enjoyed the love that you had to offer. I’ll never forget what it looked like when your arms were outstretched for a hug, or the look in your eyes when you understood and appreciated my advice. All you needed to know was that you were loved and your personality was accepted. I loved you and I accepted you for who you were..
Now that you’re only with me in spirit I have some freed up energy. I no longer have to worry about you misbehaving in school, being mischievous; playing with fire, pestering your sisters, or any of the other things I will miss about you. Now I can concentrate my energy on the rest of your brothers and sisters. I promise to love them with all of my heart and soul, to always guide them in the ways of the Lord and be a shining example to them and a pillar they can lean on when life throws them a storm. That is my dedication to you.
Son, I loved you in the deepest, most sincere sense of the word and I stood ready to defend you with my life. I didn’t want anyone to ever hurt you and I wanted you to grow up knowing, that with me, you were safe. For the short time that I was able to help you, I hope I proved myself. Rest easy now and if the Lord wills and my life is spent honoring Him, I’ll see you on the other side of the heavenly portal.

With the greatest sincerity of heart and love,

Marco, your best friend


For those who didn’t have the honor of spending time with Matthew in the last months of his life, I want you to know that Matthew was full of energy. He did everything his heart wanted to do. Sometimes it was scary, but every time it was to his full potential. He was struggling with some authority issues at school but was greatly improved over the last year or so. His grades were above average and he was attending regularly. He participated actively in his Bible studies at Church and was searching for answers that would lead his soul to Christianity.
In the last few weeks, Matthew celebrated his fourteenth birthday and looked forward to having a paintball party mid-summer. He had a girlfriend at church, Candice Ratzell, whom he enjoyed spending time with at every possible opportunity. Candice helped him improve his self-esteem and helped him control his attitude. To her I am grateful.
The Friday before he left us, Matthew, Zach, and I spent the afternoon playing with our R/C truck at a friends house. When I picked him up at his bus stop he told me, “Marco, this is turning into a great day.” There couldn’t have been a better way to describe it. When Matthew left the house on Friday night he told both Cory and I that he loved us, gave us both hugs (as was customary), and went to play at his Uncle Adrian’s house. He played all night and went hiking the next morning. He was doing what he enjoyed the most. I couldn’t ask for a better goodbye. Friends and family, please take comfort in knowing that Matthew was happy and his life was taking a turn for success.


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