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IamSamScrapper
October 4, 2007

Fear! Not Fun!

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This is for Bom. Be WARNED, this LO has things journaled in it that you may not believe in. If you are offended I am NOT sorry because this is something I constantly deal with and if I changed the journaling to be "politcally correct" then this LO would not be in my BOM.

Living with a fear is no fun. It affects not only me but also affects
those around me. Oh, I fear spiders, heights and closed-in spaces as
much as the next person but my fear is something I can not see,
touch or feel.
I have a fear or contracting the dreaded virus known as AIDS
and HIV! I know by heart every symptom of the virus. I know the
many ways one can contract it. I can practically write the book on the
virus.
I have not lived a perfect life by any means and have made
major mistakes in my past. Lucky for me, every test I have had for
this virus came out negative. And believe me, I have had my share of
tests.
Being married to a gay man in my past does not help the situation
either. My ex-husband used me to hide behind. Gay relationships is not
something I accept and never will.
My current husband must love me very much. Before we ever got
physical with one another I made him get 3 tests. When ever he got
diarrhea or the slightest cough, I asked him to have tests. He did as I
asked but was not pleased. I know he is not a cheater but my fear of
this virus wont turn me loose.
Is my fear rational or irrational? If I live to be a ripe old age of
100, then I can say, this virus did not get me. Until then, I will use
gloves at work, I will try to trust my husband! I will not be a cheater.
God help if a new virus rears its ugly head!!




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