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This page is a letter to my daughter with thoughts on breast cancer. Here's the journaling:
My Dearest Mari-
It’s taken me a year to put my thoughts down on paper for you.. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on September 15, 2003 and although I was upset that day, the worst day for me was the following morning when I woke up at 6:00 am and my first thought was that I had passed on an increased risk to you.
Some day when you are a Mommy you’ll find that you are more afraid of things happening to your children than yourself. I knew I could handle any challenges that came my way and I know you can too but the thought that you might have to because of me was so upsetting.
I want you to know all the good that has come out of my diagnosis and yes, there has been so much that I would have never known if I wasn’t diagnosed. In the past year and a half through all that this family has gone through, we have had a tremendous amount of support from others. Some we expected but so many others have rushed to our side and we never anticipated that. We’ve heard from old friends who heard the news through the grapevine and gotten back in touch as well as family and even family members of some of our friends. We’ve also received support from our church, our neighbors, my online scrapbook groups and even clerks at the insurance company. The response has been truly overwhelming. We feel truly blessed by everyone who has helped us and we know that God’s hand has been in this every step of the way.
I have learned so much by going through this journey. I have learned that people are good and are so caring if you give them the chance. I have learned that HOPE is one of the best gifts you can ever receive. I have learned that being a MOM is the best job I have ever had and that just by reading you and your brothers a book or coloring with you, my day seems to be so much brighter. I have learned that I can conquer things I never thought possible before. I have learned to live each day to the fullest and not to put things off. I have learned that my family is the most important thing to me and that when all else fails, it’s my family that will get me through it.
I hope you never have to learn all these things the way I did but I know if you should have to go through this when you are older, that you will prevail.
You are truly my daughter in so many ways as we are so alike. You are outgoing, funny, compassionate and no matter what your brothers are doing, you jump right in determined to keep up with them. You have a spirit for living life that I hope you never lose.
As I continue to fight the battle to overcome breast cancer, I keep in mind all the good that has come out of it and I truly fight every day because of you, your brothers and your daddy.
I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are so precious to me in so many ways.
Love,
Mommy
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