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ok... so i haven't really journaled in a while and this has sort of been building up. ;) i feel a little lighter now. ;) the blending and picture, again, totally inspired by txmom2two. thanks tiff!!!!!

JOURNALING: I am not perfect. You will see me make mistake after mistake throughout your lifetime. You will sometimes see me count to 10 and hold my tongue, you will sometimes see me explode in anger. You will sometimes see me spending quality time alone with God at 6am, you will sometimes need to wake me so you get to school on time. You will sometimes see me completely focused on what you are saying to me, you will sometimes see me lost in my computer simply smiling and nodding. There are times you will see me drenched in the spirit and able to discern what is best, yet other times still see me make decisions based on self-serving emotion alone. There will be times that you hear truth fall from my lips and bless those around me, while other times you will hear me exagerate the truth simply because it serves me well. You will see me completely convicted about personal possessions and how little they mean in the grand scheme of things, but you will also see me make ridiculous purchases for reasons none other than falsely filling a void. You will sometimes see me lift praise and thanks to God for a blessing that came our way, while other times you see me pridefully boast in the fact that I was successful in providing. You will see me move forward with a blind faith stronger than any obstacle, you will also see me stumble and try desperately to tighten my grip on the reigns that I perceive as control. You will see me humble and blissfully aware that I am nothing without my Savior, but you will also see me self-righteous and insisting that I deserve... well, anything. You will sometimes see me boldy (*typo fixed*) turn from things that pose a threat to my walk with Him, yet other times you will see me domesticate Him in attempt to justify my actions. You will sometimes clearly see the thin line and the moment of truth where I choose to obey God or to resist that obedience and give into my own selfish desires. I tell you this so that I may simply serve as a mere example to you and not a true visual of when and how to follow God. I am not perfect. I sometimes stand proudly on that pedestal you place me on, but I do not belong there. I tell you this now because I’m sure I will sometimes insist that I know best, when in reality I do not. I’m certain I will step in out of line and try to be the authority in your life for the sake of seeing things turn out the way I want them to. But there will come a time where God will give you the ability to discern where He is taking you and you will need to ignore my wishes. He will tell you when, be sure you are listening.


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