Mom! This made me cry. You're tough and I'm proud of you. This would be hard to write and then to share. And I'm MOST glad you're still with us - I'm selfish like that. I love you!
What an awful experience. You expressed your feelings so well in this jouranling. I can only imagine how tough it was for you to post it. This is a very powerful LO. I commend you for doing it.
From a different realm and experience of my own, I understand why you chose this for the challenge...feeling leftover, blame, guilt, the replay in one's head over and over....I do not "know" what it is like (and hate when people say that to me about my own other experience) but I do empathize. Continue the journey...I don't know if the journey of grief and loss and trying to 'recover' does end but working through creatively is as good an outlet as any and there is no doubt that this is just that.
Omg hun this has brought tears in my eyes. you are very brave to scrap this. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process. you will be in my thougghts and prayers.
OMG - what a horrible experience. It truly is a nightmare, but the ability to scrap it (like therapy) is a start in the healing process. I'm so sorry you had this happen.
SHCG: (((Hugs))) I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience. Your journaling is amazing, thanks so much for sharing with us. You're in my prayers!
SHCG: I haven't a clue on how to respond to this, other than thank you for sharing such a personal, vulnerable, and traumatic part of your past. If I may share one observation: in the short time that I have gotten to know you, I can say they sure have not taken your strength away. I'll be pming you about the lo.
It had to have taken a lot of courage just to write this much less post it for all to read. My prayer are with you that your nightmares are behind you.
OMGosh, I am so, so sorry for all that you have been through! I hope and pray that this nightmare is behind you very soon...you are very brave and strong to write this! HUGS to you!!!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that - how awful! I'm sure putting this together (and sharing it with us) wasn't easy. I pray that you will continue to heal.
You are an amazing woman to have the courage to write this. I hope it helped and I hope you can look back at it and feel a little more "healed" everytime.
The power of your words is truly inspiring. You have such great strength and determination. I pray that you continue to allow yourself to go through this process and hopefully find some peace and healing. You are a shining example. I feel grateful and blessed that you shared this with us. Thank you!
What an amazing LO. To put your experience down on paper and then to share it with us. I'm sure working on this was very, very difficult. Your journaling brought me to tears. ~hug~
Hugs! I am so sorry to hear that you went through this. It is a very amazing layout though. Amazing journaling and design. I am glad that you did it for therapy and to caution the rest of us! Thank you!
Wow. You lived through a frightening and brutal experience and I am proud of you for taking these steps toward healing and growth. Thanks for being real with yourself and for sharing this part of yourself with us.
Praying for you, Hon --
-- kimB
Wow! what a powerful page!!! This must have been a very hard one to do but I hope it helped in a theraputic sense!!! It breaks my heart to think of someone going through those horrors!! You are an amazing strong person to even face your fears and make a page like this, I'm so glad you're still here to tell the story...{{{{HUGS}}}} to you honey!
Wow! The courage it took to write that is amzing...to share it here is extraordinary! I hope you can begin to find some peace and hope in knowing we are all pulling for you!
((((hugs))))) your journaling is amazing and says it all. I think the title is appropriate and hope that this somehow helps you cope. Thank you for sharing with us.
wow. thank you for having the courage to share that. i will keep you in my heart when my loved ones and i am are in our home. i pray for you to have peace one day. thank you again.
Wow what emotion in your journaling !!! You share your feeling, it will help you heal !!!!!!!! Stay strong --- every little strength you build makes you stronger--and stronger !!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I know you'll get through this. Thank you for sharing something so personal and that I'm sure was very hard to do and to share. This happens to too many women and I'm sure seeing this lo will help others who share similar stories. I pray that you continue to heal from this. ((hugs))
wow! What an aweful ordeal...I am so glad that you journaled it...your journaling is amazing BTW...I hope scrapping this helped in the healing process...((hugs))
SHCG: Firstly, this journaling is absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this. Secondly, I am terribly sorry that you were put through this. No one should ever have to feel the way you have. Thirdly, I love the LO. I like that there are no pictures, i like all of the buttons and stamps. i really feel this conveys the feelings you are trying to get across. Awesome LO. Thanks so much for sharing.
Omg iam so sorry that awful and hideous thing has happened to you no woman should have to endure this ! healing will happen my prayers are with you that will happen rapidly hugs to karen
OMG! I don't know where to start!I have tears in my eyes! I'm so sorry this happened to you, but happy you scrapped it!This way I think healing will come faster. Now you will have all of us praying for you. I will!!!
<bighugs> Healing will happen. It is happening for me and it will happen for you. I completely understand what you are going through, having been there myself. <more bighugs>
Gentle ((((hugs)))) for you. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did and still suffer. I know it's hard to imagine now but you will get through this, you will understand it's not your fault in any way, shape or form and the pain will dull. It takes a long time to heal yes, but you are already on your way just by doing this layout. Your message will most certainly not fall on deaf ears and I thank you for this layout. Trust me, from one survivor to another, you are stronger than you realize and you will heal.
((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so very sorry. I don't know what to say except that your strength is an inspiration to me. Your powerful message did NOT fall on deaf ears and your horrendous assault will not go unpunished. In the end, they will answer for what they've done to you. Gosh, you have no idea how I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and just HUG you right now! Thank you, for this layout. Thank you - for getting this out.
I can't begin to imagine the pain you have suffered. I hope this was truly theraputic and cleansing for you. I'm so glad you now know this was never your fault! And you are a very strong woman! Hugs and prayers for your continued recovery!
Marilyn
There are no words to convey what I am feeling....so I will only say Congratulations for having the courage to put this on paper....and for getting on with the business of living again. Bless you.
SHCG - Mellssa, I am so sorry this happened to you & that you've dealt - & sometimes are still dealing - w/ the feelings you express here. Your journaling is powerful & heartfelt; you are so strong to have gone through what you did, to share your story & talk about it here. I hope that creating this LO helped a little bit in the healing. Now commenting on your scrappiness, I love the "in progress" effect you convey & the many different points of visual interest such as the handwriting, the "life happens," the clear buttons. Seeing "you already know!" & knowing that is an obscured photo of your back moves me beyond words - what poignant, heartwrenching & expressive choices to incorporate into your page. Thank you again for sharing your story & this excellent LO; (((big hugs for Melissa)))
I'm so sorry you have to go through this,I can't imagine how difficult it is. I can say that this is very powerful journaling and I hope it helps you to get your feelings out. You are a very strong woman,never forget that!
Scrapping can be wonderful therapy. I like the complaint card. And your strength shows in your ability to share this with all of us. I am so sorry that you are going through all this. <<hugs>>
You are a remarkable woman with alot of strength. I am trully sorry that it had happened to you!! Your story will help others and help you to heal. Yes, You may never fully heal but you will find the blessings that life has to offer and the simple things that matter and new strength that you didn't know you had. I wish you all the best and God Bless!!
You show much strength in just addressing this. Getting it out is the first step. Don't ever be afraid to tell. I admire your strength to tell everybody. In the town where he lives, his kids, etc. You did nothing wrong. I am proud of you for standing up and just "spitting it out" If you have to write I hate you a hundred times a day, its therapeutic. Good for you and God Bless you. Hugs, Glenda
SHCG: Very powerful journaling and lo! I love everything about the lo-the covered photo with buttons is awesome! I'm so sorry for what happen to you. I admire your strength!Hugs, hugs, hugs
SHCG: Wow. Taking a moment, here. Melissa, this is powerful on so many layers. There is no way I could ever critique this because the journaling itself could stand alone. Let me begin by saying, that I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am amazed by your strength and perspective. {bear hug} On the "scrapping" side of this compelling layout, the idea behind the "while you were out" is extremely tongue-in-cheek but apropos at the same time. Also, how appropriate are the check boxes with the desired outcomes: apology, explanation, change? Perfect. Melissa, I would never have guessed that you had lived through this hell, which is a credit to your strength and will. Thank you so much for sharing this. xoxo
I cannot begin to imagine the pain you have suffered. I hope this was truly theraputic and cleansing for you. Hugs and prayers for your continued recovery!
Wow the journaling is very powerful. You are very strong for sharing this and I know in my heart that you will be abe to be truly happy again. Great LO.
I am with the other ladies that your strength to write this down and then post it is Stronger then those men who tried to steal it away. Keep healing. Keep praying.
oh wow, the journaling is so powerful. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! He will get his one way or another. You are stronger than you realise, and can get through this. [[hugs]] being sent your way.
WOW. I'm here stunned/saddened/sympathetic and scared. So empowering that you have the strength to write this, share this. What strength you are showing!
{{hugs}} Virtual hugs are safe, you know. Powerful journaling. He will pay. You'll let yourself out when YOU are ready. You don't have to forgive him but you do have to forgive yourself. It is a continual process but one worth doing. {{hugs}} Leaving the layout looking unfinished is very appropriate.
WOW. I don't even know what to say, or if I can say anything. I admire your strength to write about this terrible thing. Your last sentence bothers me, but don't know how to ask you about it.
Just a bit of self-therapy here (also suggested therapy) . Hidden Journaling Reads: There are times I can still feel your fists, hear my muffled screams, see the knife and smell the mixture of gasoline and some cheap cologne. It puts me into sudden fear that takes over me. It's as though it's all happening again. They tell me this will eventually end. I'm not sure I believe them. You left me there in my own own home, the one place I had felt safe. Now I don't feel safe anywhere. I hate being home alone. Every single noise bothers me. I couldn't sleep for what seemed like years. When I did sleep, it was only in spurts, the nightmares would always wake me up. Some nights, it's still that way. I always thought my immediate reaction to rape would be to call the police and to face you in court. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever have to deal with the situation. I was wrong on both counts. I didn't want to talk about it. I refused to answer questions. I just wanted to forget, but I couldn't. I wished you had killed me, then at least the nightmare would be over. I tried to do it myself, but failed. I am thankful for that now. Noone knew how to help me. Noone really understood. I blamed myself. If only I had locked that back door before getting into the shower that day. . After the therapists, I have finally started shifting the blame onto you. In my head I know it's not my fault, but sometimes I still think it is sometimes. This process seems to be so slow. I'm not sure it will ever be over. You changed me in ways I never wanted to be changed. A simple house creek terrifies me. A touch that I once loved now seems terrifying at times. I look at every strange man in stores as a possible assailant. I now question common human kindness. Now as I try to repair what I ended up leaving undone, discuss the event over and over again, try to get my life back to normal. You both walk the streets and live your normal lives as though none of this ever happened.
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