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BrookeLynnAngel
December 3, 2007

Im Not OK for the Hard Times Challenge Back/hidden journling

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Across the top it says "Thank you mom for always being there." Along the bottom it says "I love you" The Poem I wrote December 3, 2007 and it deals with the situation that has made me not ok. The card was from my mom, the flowered paper on the front was the bag that the teddy bear my mom got me after this happened came in.

I lie awake
All night long
Tossing and turning
until its dawn
Why can’t I just sleep in peace
Even if for just one night
I stare out the window with each sound
How I want to shove him to the ground
What makes him think
He can look my way
When did I say that was ok.
But I can’t
So I wont
I carry on
Like nothings wrong
I can’t let on
That I know
What he did
What he stole
And I can’t move past the pain.
My feeling of hate and so much rage.
I just want everything to be ok.
But its not
Not at all.
And I feel
As if I may fall.
I had my walls
All around
But I took them down
For one night of fun
I should have stayed home
Tucked my children in their beds.
Talked with my mom
Or just gone to bed.
But I can’t change
The road I took.
I just can’t believe
What they just took
They had no right
For it was mine.
But I trusted them
Like I was blind
I talked with them
I invited them to hang with us
They’re good ol’ friends
I said to her
No worries now
Their friends of mine.
I never thought twice
When he got me that drink on ice.
I took it, I drank it.
But then I wasn’t feeling alright.
I went outside
To clear my head
Thinking its time to get home in bed.
But that is when
I turned to him I gotta sit
I don’t remember much then
Until I saw your tear filled eyes
That’s when I knew
Nothing was alright
How I hurt
I was so confused
Last I knew
It was 11:30
Now its 5:30
And time was lost
Where did it go
What happened to me
Why was I there
In that hospital bed
Why can’t I move my head
Then those words were said
I looked to my friend
I asked her once, I asked her twice
Nothing happened, right?
All she could do
Was tell me she didn’t know
That’s not the answer
I needed to hear
But right then and there
I knew
I wasn’t going to be alright.
And now I wait
Every night
Sleepless so many nights
Until I know
That they are gone
Away in jail where they belong.
Until that day
I’ll try
But I know,
I’ll never be alright.

Tara Short
December 3, 2007


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