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"For some reason I love being pregnant. Something about it makes me feel successful and productive. No matter what I get done in a day I can always feel good about spending my day growing a baby! I love knowing that I am doing my part to bring a little bit of heaven here to earth. I love feeling the baby move inside me with a mind all of its own - kick and squirming around in there and theres not a thing I can do about it! I love all of the moments where I get lost in thoughts of what is he going to look like? What is he going to be like when he's older? I love the purity that you can see in a newborns eyes. It's pretty scary sometimes when you look at that innocence and purity and feel the huge responsibility that comes with bearing a child. You are the one to teach and nurture and rear this child and mold their sweet lives into something wonderful. So much trust put in your hands. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the best choice for these amazing children. But then I realize that I love them more than anything and I want so badly for them to feel that love and to do good and be good. And I realize that if I keep loving them and doing my best than it is enough. I am the best choice for my children, because no one else carried them and sacrificed for them and labored to bring them here. And those sacrifices and that laboring instilled a greater love in my heart than any other could give to them. A loving mother means a happy home which leads to success in life and confidence in themselves."

"My labor of love 12.26.06"

This journaling is kind of random and it cuts off pretty abruptly at the end, but I ran out of room! I keep wanting to go back and rewrite all of my journaling and make them all poetic and deeply thought out and so eloquent. But this is real. This is exactly what came into my mind as I was writing it and I think there is something good about that raw journaling. Hopefully my children will get a good glimpse of me and my thoughts as they read these rough/raw thoughts.Oh well! Thanks for looking!


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