Journaling: It all started on June 25th, 2004 and then the load was doubled on December 17th, 2007. The Lord blessed me with the ability to love something more than I could ever love myself. He gave me the ability to sacrifice myself fully in order to properly raise a strong brilliant individual. i never thought motherhood would be such a mix of emotions and test myself in a way nothing else ever could. It is the one steady part of my life. Its the one thing that I can always count on, having my children at my side. When all is said and done, at the end of the day, I’m still their mom and they need e. I can’t even express how much that scares the living hell out of me but thrills me all at the same time. Looking back at all the times my mom was there,, to kiss a boo-boo, offer a shoulder to lean on or help me with my homework makes me eager to leave similar memories with my children. I guess I was never really sure how I would manage motherhood at such a young age. I had expected having my mom there for guidance, because in my book, she’s the best there is. I think it all comes down to the fact that I need to know that it is ME that will be raising my children and using my mom as a rough draft edition of the motherhood handbook is a good start, and it has served me well thus far. When I’m unsure if I am doing a good job all I need is that little ‘I love you mommy you’re my best friend,’ from Brooklynn and the goofy grin my two and a half month old Caliber gives me when I reach to pick him up. I am enjoying this journey. I am learning so much about myself and my children each day. Trial and error is what its about. What works with who and how can I make it work with the other? Teaching right from wrong has proven incredibly easy with Brooklynn and I’m sure Caliber will be similarly easy going again, I had the best influence in the world. When she committed to being a mom, its what she threw herself into fully. I look forward to building lasting memories with my kids. I knew I was going to be a mom, but I didn’t realize that it would have been my destiny. My children are the reason I chug through everyday, through the good, bad, and ugly of this life. I live for this.....
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