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CANCER SUCKS! torn, empty, broken, powerless, forgotten, pain, fear, angry, alone, helpless, scared, abused, sad, abandoned, black, TERRIFIED...today I found out that the one person who has always been there for me has CANCER. This has brought up so many emotions. Things I have never had to deal with before. She has survived cancer ONCE. She has felt these things before. I was only a baby when she had breast cancer before, so this is the first time I have had to deal with these emotions. I love my Granny more than anything else. She is the only person I could count on as a child and as an adult. She has always been there for meóbut now she needs help and there is NOTHING I can do to make this better. Why can't I fix her? Why am I so powerless? I have always known that suffering is the hardest thing to understand, but now I understand how confusing suffering is too. No matter how much I have studied and know about pain and suffering, NONE OF IT has prepared me for the feeling of my world crashing down around me. And what can I do? All I have now is GOD. Most people get mad at God for things like cancer, but I know he is the only hope we have. He is in CONTROL.

i need prayers/good thoughts for my grandmother and i. she just received results from a biopsy, and the test came back positive for cancer again. she was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer when i was a little girl, and has been cancer free for at least 15 years, so this was a shock. it was only the 1st test, so we don't know what kind of cancer or what stage or anything except that it is back in some form. i am very close to my granny and live with her, so i am having a hard time dealing too and i know this is very difficult for her, of course...thanks for letting me vent. i just found out and she isn't really ready to talk yet. so i'm very grateful for all of you ladies, who i have know for such a short time, but i feel like we all really do care about each other. Thanks