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journaling goes like this

I can still hear your desperate scream. Remember the scary sight, when I ran into the scrap room. There did the love of my life laying on the floor, shacking in cramps. I can still hear my own desperate scream, when I called your name. I can still feel the anxious in my body when I didn’t get an answer.
I still remember the panic running through my body, the few seconds it took to call 911. I can still hear hoe I almost cried when I asked for an ambulance.
I can still remember how scary it was to watch you laying there and I couldn’t do anything else than talking to the man from the alarm central and making sure you where breathing.
I remember how I cuddled your face and talked softly to you. I didn’t get any answer but it helped my nerves.
I remember all the thoughts running through my head, while I was waiting for the ambulance. “ where you about to die in my arms? What if Signe woke up, what was I suppose to tell here? How should I every be able to live without you?
I remember clearly how the 20 minutes it took the ambulance to get here felt like 100 years. It´s the worst 20 minutes in my life. My life stopped in these 20 minutes and I will never forget them.
I hope I never will experience that again, because you are the love of my life and I can live without you.


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