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The photo opens up to reveal the song lyrics I referred to in my journaling..

journaling: In the moments and days after Sam passed away, I prayed more than I ever have before. I prayed to God for many things. But one of those prayers was answered very soon. I had prayed to God over and over to bring me comfort. I needed to trust that His plan was the right one, that He knew the purpose of Sam’s death, that he would help me to accept that I may never know that reason, and that I would never doubt that God had my best interest at heart and would comfort me. In the excruciating pain that I was in, I could still feel God’s presence. I felt Him there with me like never before. I was able to stay calm and just keep my head above the black abyss because I knew He was there. During two very hard times, the visitation and the memorial service, I was almost peaceful. It was odd, but I knew the only way to explain it was that God was there with me, with His arms wrapped around me, holding me tight.
Just a few weeks later, Jeff and I got last minute tickets to attend a Natalie Grant concert. I knew nothing of her music. The same day of the concert I received a package in the mail. It was from a woman at church whom I did not know. She had heard about Sam and had also lost a child. She had burned a CD with some music that had helped her through the rough months that followed her daughter’s death. She enclosed the lyrics to only one song, “Held” by Natalie Grant. I read the lyrics and found them very touching, but I couldn’t get the CD to work. At the concert that evening, “Held” was one of the very first songs Natalie Grant sang. I knew it was that song immediately. Hearing it sung by someone with such an amazing voice was deeply painful yet beautiful. I truly think that God worked his mysterious ways to get that CD and those concert tickets in my hand. It was His clever little way of reminding me that He is always there, holding me.


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