This is a beautiful tribute, I was in tears reading it, This is really what it is all about, telling your stories and sharing your life with others. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Heather, I realize it's 2 years past now, but wow, this is so powerful. I had a miscarriage last September and I know exactly what you went through. Even though I've been blessed with a beautiful baby girl (I did get pregnant again a month later and had Maggie in July), I still mourn the baby that was not meant to be for me. Thank you for sharing this, it gives me strength... maybe I'll do a layout about it, too, the real feelings. I did a layout last year right after I lost the baby, but the feelings we're really hitting yet.
Heather, your heart comes through in this LO. I have my own tears that I share with you. It doesn't matter how long the pregnancy, because the loss is the same. I had the same ultrasound with no heartbeat too and it is something no one can prepare you for, especially when you come home to that baby-room-to-be. I have 2 angel boys and have been blessed with 3 earthly children, and for this I am grateful. Thank you for sharing your LO and it actually inspires me to get into my memory box.
I just found this after congratulating you on your gorgeous new baby. It's beautiful and couldn't be more perfect. It ws very courageous of you to share. I am so glad that you now have a healthy, beautiful new baby to love.
Cindy
What a beautiful Layout I know it must have been hard for you to do .... I am truely sorry for your loss. I have not been able to scrap anything for my little angels but this is inspiring. TFS
Heather, ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) This is the most beautiful and loving tribute page I have ever seen. Your heart is in this page and it shows. I'm so very sorry for your loss. No one will ever say the right thing, and you will never forget the pain of your loss.... but the pain WILL lessen. I too share your pain as I have lost 6 precious angel boys. This is just a wonderful, amazing, heartfelt tribute. I love it... thank you for sharing this very private part of your world.
I just found this too. I think everything about this lo is beautiful. Nothing wrong with the design but the focus truly is on the spirit & words of it. I am sorry for your loss, happy that you are going to be blessed anew this year though.
I have been through this several times.
I know it has been a while since you posted this, but I just found your gallery today while cruising around the site. It truly moved me, and I have had to keep my tears in check, as I am at work! I am sure that just posting this for others to see has helped someone out there that read about it. TFS!
I cried from the moment that I read your title. This is a very powerful memory - one that took so much strength just to commit it to paper. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Oh Heather I cry and my heart aches for you as I write this, I am sooo very sorry for your loss. I can relate to naive thought process. I had a miscarage at an early age(thought hum you're young you've got lots of time for having babies) not knowing that would be my only pregnancy and that I would wait a very long 16 years to become a mommy. Lossing a child no matter the age is a devestating loss. Now sometimes I find myself wondering what that sweet angel would have been like. I did a very personal lo of some life altering experiences leading up to the birth of my son and after seeing your courage here you have given me the courage to place it in the gallery. I can tell you are an amazing woman and I am honored that our paths have crossed even if it's only on a scrapbook site. May God always bless you and your family.
Heather, After wiping the tears , I had to write and say that I am in awe of the courage it must've taken not only to do the layout, but to live the experience. You are amazing!
April 25, 1987. Miscarriage at 12 weeks. First child, last pregnancy. The hysterectomy that followed left me devastated, bitter, angry and sometimes hysterical. How could such a cruel thing happen?? It can happen because another child, born on the other side of the world with no one to care for him, needed us. And on Feb 24, 2000, we were finally together with our long awaited son. I've never posted such a personal event before, and may hit the delete button even now, but tomorrow is our six year "gotcha day" and I always get mushy!! Also, every April 25 I get a little sad, then I take care of the little boy that would have grown up without a family if we had not been there. It was almost 23 years before we knew why this terrible thing happened, but I hope it gives you a little bit of comfort that a reason, unclear as yet, may become known someday. Smile, hug your little one and remember....
I just want to add my sweet pray for you and your family also. What an amazing tribute to your little angel. I haven't had this experience, and these sweet messages have touch my heart. Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your heart. You are an amazing woman! Thanks for touching my heart.
~Dallas
Beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss, but your candid ability to express your grief is beautiful. I am sure that this page will be a treasure for your family to view. What a wonderful sentiment to all of your children! How wonderful it is to love and know them even before birth! I hope that you are blessed with more children and I am sure that your son is blessed to have you for a mom!
Heather, this whole layout is just beatiful. So precious. The journaling is very touching and just goes to show how strong of character you are and what a great capacity for love that you have. You are truly an amazing person in every way. TFS.
Heather, I am sitting here at work crying from reading your journalling! I never thought I could imagine that pain that you're feeling (especially since I've never even been pregnant), but I felt like I was right there.
I am truly sorry for your loss, but I know that you will be a wonderful mom to another sweet baby (besides Brian) soon. (((Hugs)))
Oh Heather...what can i say that hasn't already been said. This is truly the most touching lo I have ever laid eyes on. It is beautiful in everyway, the design, the journaling. truly. You are strong, brave, incredible. Thank you for sharing this. (((hugs)))
Heather, I am so sorry for all the pain you're feeling. I haven't looked in your gallery in a while and I know it's full of inspiration and then this is what I came across. I'm wiping away all the tears. I don't know what else to say, but you're brave for being able to post and share this so soon. I hope you will find peace. And whether your experience has a deeper meaning or you're supposed to do something with what you've been through is so difficult to grasp right now. I just hope May isn't too painful. Hugs!!
what a beautiful story to share. Even if your angel will never know a life with you on this earth, he/she knows your love. Your family will be so grateful some day for the thoughts and feelings you have shared here. So many times things happen to us and no one ever knows how we feel. How can you heal if you don't get it out? Great first step. Hug and love on the beautiful boy you do have and look to God for the next one.
*sniff*sniff* I so love every word, every detail and all the thought that went into this magnificent LO. Here's a great big ((((((HUG)))))) from me to you. But most of all thanks for sharing your story with us!!
I'm so sorry for your loss....I've been through 2 myself and it is devastaing. I didn't think I was going to make it through them, but God has a plan for us all and I learned that things happen for a reason. I didn't understand at the time why..but I know now....he was waiting to give me children so I could really understand just how precious and special they are....I know he will bless you also...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...
Heather, this is the most beautiful tribute I have ever seen/read. I'm sitting here at work bawling. I am so so sorry.
My deepest condolences to you and your DH. May your little one rest in everlasting peace.
heather, this is so incredibly beatiful and your sweet heart shines through on this like nothing else i have seen you do! you are an amazing person and i truly hope you know that!
Heather, this is beautiful. Such a loving tribute for your sweet angel, and an important layout for you to do. THank you for sharing this. I think seeing how you dealt with this pain could be very helpful to other women and families who have felt the same. (((((Hugs))))) to you and your family.
Wow, H. I can't imagine how painful yet therapeutic this was to write. You know I am so sorry for your loss and I hurt so much for you. I know things will turn out okay for you in the end, but you'll always remember your little angel. Love you, girl.
Heather, what a wonderful way to help heal your heart. How courageous you are to put those feelings into words. Not only is it a tribute to your baby and your feelings of love and loss, but you have no idea how you are helping others to realize how helpful it is to try and journal the feelings that are so hard to voice. Thank you so much for sharing, we love you! {{{HUGS}}}
This is such an insipring page. I love the journaling, it is so touching. Thanks for sharing this as I know many of us can relate. I love the pp you chose, and the personal journaling you included. This is great, Heather!
Heather, This is a beautiful tribute to your baby. I know how hard it is to do a layout of something so painful. I think you are amazing for having the courage to do this. I will be forever grateful to Melissa (sweetkellys) for doing my lo of my baby when I was unable to. I am sorry you had to go through this I know it is hard but always know that you have great friends here that are always here for you.
Wow Heather! This layout is so incredibly moving and deep. What a wonderful tribute with your journaling! I feel deeply for you and your loss and am impressed with your ability to share it with us. TFS
Heather, i am truly sorry for your loss. I understand how hard this must be for you but for every thing there is a reason. You are a strong woman but i will still keep you and your family in my thoughts. (((HUGS))) your way.
The journaling is so heartfelt and sooo moving that it made me cry. This 2-page spread is just BEAUTIFUL. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Wow. I admire you such much for sharing your story with us. First of all, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I was sitting here crying the second I started reading your precious journaling. My heart is just aching for you right now and although I would love to say something profound to make you feel better, I know that's probably not possible.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling connected to your unborn baby. It doesn't matter if your baby develops 8 months or 8 days, the second that you see a positive sign on that pregnancy test, you have a baby. It's a part of you...it's a part of your family. It will forever be a part of your lives. Know that you're not the only one mourning the loss of your precious baby today. Even though I've never met you and probably never will, I care about you so much and hate the thought of you having to go through this. I'm so glad you know how much God loves you and that there WAS a reason for this happening (even though you won't truly know why until you're reunited with that sweet little baby in heaven someday). Until then, I wish you healing and peace, sweetie. Know I've said a prayer for you today. (((hugs)))
Heather...I am so sorry. I am in tears right now. Your jouraling is so heartfelt and beautiful. I know how rough something like this can be. I had a very early miscarriage in Sept. 2002. Then, that next September, I found out I was pg with my twins. Lots of hugs for you.
Heather--I hope your pain of the physical loss will fade quickly. I know that the thought of your "angel" baby will be with you always. I speak from experience as I lost my first baby to miscarriage at approx. 6 wks. I know have two beautiful boys that I am SO grateful for! I think I should scrapbook my angel's ultrasound pic. I had never thought of it before. I think it would be very healing. My thoughts are with you.
heather this turned out so nice. i am so sorry you had to even do this one, but it is beautiful none the less.
i like the larger "too soon".
this is a beautiful memorial to such a precious child that i do believe you will see again some day.
i love you, hope you are doing well.
Just sobbing here Heather- you have captured everything so perfectly and I know MANY women will be able to identify with you. Thanks so much for sharing- I wish I was scrappin' before, something like this might have made a big difference. {{big hugs}} to you sweetie. :)
Heather, I am so sorry for your loss and please know that I am giving you a huge hug right now. I think that your LO is beautiful and such a special tribute to your baby. You are amazingly strong for doing this. {{BIG HUG HEATHER}}
Oh, Heather... this is truly beautiful, and I was so touched by your journaling. You are such a special person, and so brave in dealing with all of this. Thank you for sharing this... it's amazing!
This is such a beautiful layout. I am so sorry for your physical loss of your baby, I know that you will always have your baby in your thoughts :) Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us :)
My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. I went through it 3 times after having 2 healthy children and then one more afterwards. Mine never lived past 6 1/2 weeks.
Heather, be grateful that you have the perspective to know that this is not the end of this little one's story. THanks for sharing. It brought back some painful memories of my own, and I had never thought to share them. It probably would have helped. Good luck healing!
{{{HUGS}}} Heather. Beautiful. A sweet tribute and, I hope, a healing process for you. Your writing is so wonderful, it brought me back to my own experience. Only this time, I appreciate it as an experience that helped me grow. Thank you for sharing your story.
Heather this is totally amazing! I am so GLAD that you wrote this! It really touches my heart, the love there and all. And thanks for sharing this with all of us, esp those of us who may take our kids for granted! Great work!
Heather,
What a wonderful tribute to your little angel. Although I don't know exactly how you feel, you have expressed yourself so eloquently and I have had so many of the feelings you have described. What a wonderful way to express your sorrow. You have inspired me to do something for my little angels. I think that your layout is so lovely.
God Bless you , your family, and the sweet little baby that is in heaven.
Oh Heather. Wow. I have no words to express to you how deeply this moves me. I wish I could just give you the biggest hug. Thank you for sharing something so personal. It's beautiful, and gut-wrenching all at the same time. You are an amazing person. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you. Love ya.
This is so beautiful. Your words are so heartfelt. I feel your pain as I read the letters. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. {{Hugs}}
Oh, H. I just want to reach out and give you a big hug, my friend. What a wonderful tribute to a precious little one who was gone too soon and what a neat thing for your children to have some day. It really shows who you are as a person and a mother---B is so, so lucky to have you. You are an amazing person. Love, B
Heather this is beautiful - I doesn't matter what the layout looks like - although it is wonderful - it's the fact that your heart and soul went into making it that makes this layout so phenomenal!
Oh Heather, this is truly beautiful! I love how you included your journal and the poem! Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Always know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never had to go through what you have, but from what you've shared with us, I can imagine the pain you are going through. You have put this so beautifully, and I am so glad that you decided to share this with us. I know you are not alone, and I hope that this might help other people realize that as well. Good luck, I hope you and your family are coping with the loss. Give my love to Brian and your husband.
*gulp* Ok, this was the most difficult layout I've ever done. I realize that it's not the best layout scrapbooking/design-wise, but I got the pic and journaling on there, and that's all that mattered to me.
My journaling is on the left side of the layout. I had been keeping a baby journal on the computer and I decided to include that on the layout as well. That's on the right side. Also on the right side is a poem that really hit home to me, provided by LibbyJo. Thanks Libby. :)
Thanks for looking- Heather
Dear Baby #2, September 2, 2005- 4 Weeks Along I’ve been thinking about how I wanted to keep a pregnancy journal about my second child, and today would be the appropriate day to start! This morning Brian and I went to the library, then went to Walmart to get a few things. I was two days late, so I thought I would get a pregnancy test to take sometime this Labor Day weekend. I had no plans to take it today! But as soon as we got home, around 11:30, I couldn’t wait to find out. I was shaking. The positive sign on the pregnancy test showed up right away, and I started crying. Brian came running in the bathroom when he heard me and said, “Cry?” and I just hugged him. For the next hour or so, I kept having crying spells (surprise, surprise!) and would go back to look at the test to see if the line was still there, though I knew it wouldn’t go away. I said a few small prayers, being so grateful for this tremendous opportunity to have you. Right now it’s the middle of the afternoon, and Brian is taking a nap and dad is at work. I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to tell him about you. We will probably tell our friends and family fairly soon. I’ve done a rough estimate of your due date, which seems to be about May 9, 2006. Dad will be graduating the first week in May, so that will certainly be a crazy time in our life! For some reason I knew that August would be the month that I got pregnant. It’s also what I wanted, and it’s a bit odd how things worked out like I planned! It rarely goes that way. So far I feel fine, though I have been a bit more tired and more emotional. I’m very excited for you to come join our little family, though I am scared out of my mind. Know that you have an incredible daddy. He will love you and be someone you really look up to in your life. He is an amazing man and would do anything for you. I can hardly wait to find out how he’s going to react to the news! You’re also going to have such a wonderful big brother. I know that there will be some adjustment periods, but Brian is going to be so good to you. He is a big help and so full of life and love. I love you already. Love, Mom
September 4, 2005 It’s now been two days since I found out I was pregnant..... not a long time in the grand scheme of things! Friday night I took Brian to Grandma Smith’s house, and then went home to wait for dad to come home. When he finally got home around 5:30, I told him to hurry and get ready because we were going out to eat! I wanted to drive. He thought we were going to Gandolfo’s, but instead I drove to the Olive Garden. YUM! Dad was a bit confused/worried as to why we were there, but I assured him that I knew what I was doing. Once we were seated, I started shaking. I was wondering how/when I would tell him. I decided that I was just going to come out and say it.. After the salad and breadsticks arrived and we had dished some up for our plates, but before we took any bites, I simply leaned over to him and quietly said, “I’m pregnant.” He looked at me and saw the tears and my eyes, and his eyes started welling up too. What a moment. I was glad that we were in a public place because then it helped me keep the crying to a minimum! We were still in a daze for the rest of the night. I haven’t felt too sick yet, although I’ve definitely been tired and I’ve had to go to the bathroom a LOT!!! We’re not sure about when we’re going to tell our family/friends. My birthday is in two weeks, so we thought about doing it then, but we’re still not sure.
Monday, October 03, 2005- almost 9 weeks Wow- it has almost been a month since I’ve written! This last month has gone by really slow. We told our parents the weekend that we found out, and everyone is really excited. I’ve been feeling pretty sick, but the worst is at night. However, the worst thing is that I don’t have energy to do anything! I’m just so tired and worn out all the time. I’m taking full advantage of sleeping on my tummy while I can, as I know that I will miss that SO much soon! So far I’ve been craving fruit, which is a really good thing. The fruit never tastes as good as I hoped it would, but it’s delicious nonetheless. I’ve got my first doctor appointments this week! Tomorrow I go in for the blood work (not looking forward to that) and then Friday we go in for the first real appointment and the ultrasound! I’m really hoping we can hear your heartbeat! It’s so weird for me to look at me tummy and think that there is a little person in there! It just boggles my mind, but it’s so exciting! I love you. Mom
Monday, October 10, 2005 Well, today has been a really sad day. My appointment had to be rescheduled for this morning, and daddy, Brian, and I went in for the ultrasound. They couldn’t find a heartbeat, and the doctor figures that you died about two weeks ago, as it measured you at 8 weeks and 2 days. I’m bawling right now and can hardly stand the pain of writing to someone that’s never going to read this. Know that I love you very much and was so excited to meet you. The doctor said that this was not my fault in any way, that you just probably weren’t developing the way that you should. I know there was a reason for this to happen, but that doesn’t make the tears go away. I will be having a D&C on Friday to take care of you, and the thought just makes me cry harder. When we got home from the appointment, I was just sitting on the couch and crying. Brian was so sweet and came up to me and said, “It’s okay,” and gave me the sweetest little kiss. Of course this made me cry harder and even made dad shed a tear or two. I’m not sure how to end this, as I really don’t want this to be the end of your story. Sweetheart, I love you. Mom
Poem: Just Those Few Weeks Susan Erling
For those few weeks-- I had you to myself. And that seems too short a time to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks-- I came to know you... and to love you. You came to trust me with your life. Oh, what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks-- When I lost you. I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams and aspirations... A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks-- It wasn't enough to convince others how special and important you were. How odd, a truly unique person has recently died and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks-- And no "normal" person would cry all night over a tiny, unfinished baby, or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day. No one would, so why am I?
You were those few weeks my little one you darted in and out of my life too quickly. But it seems that's all the time you needed to make my life so much richer and give me a small glimpse of eternity.
When I was a little girl and I thought about the picture-perfect life I wanted to have later on... a husband, children, and a happy home, this experience was definitely not included in my idea of a fairy tale. I had never really thought about miscarriages much before, but when I did, my naive thought process was just that it couldn’t be that bad... that you never even met the baby so there wasn’t that big of a connection and that you could just get pregnant again and move on. How stupid and hollow that seems to me now. Of course with time I’ll be able to move on and hopefully I’ll be able to be pregnant again, but in those 11 weeks I had definitely started to bond with that sweet baby. I enjoyed reading to it, talking to it, and loving it. I loved reading books about the development of the baby and how big it was getting. I thought about how I would get to find out the gender and hopefully feel its movement around Christmas. I was ecstatic that I didn’t have heartburn problems early on as I did with Brian! I was so proud of myself for eating well and not missing a day of vitamins. I loved rubbing my tummy and thinking about how there was a tiny human being inside that depended solely on me. What an incredible responsibility. Through this experience I have realized that miscarriages are indeed a real loss. There are many reasons why they happen, but I often wonder what this reason was. My doctor was very adamant at making sure I knew that this was in no way my fault. Of course that makes me feel a lot better, though I know that I would never purposely do anything to hurt my baby. People have told me that I should be happy that it wasn’t “worse”... that I wasn’t further along and actually had to deliver the baby, and to be glad that I didn’t even yet know if it was a boy or a girl. Of course I’m glad for that and I have a lot to be grateful for considering the circumstances, but that doesn’t make the sting go away. Now rather than looking forward to that first week in May, 2006, I’m dreading it. I believe that sometimes experiences happen to you so that you can help other people. Maybe that’s part of the reason that this happened, maybe not. Maybe there’s something that I needed to learn from this, like how I need to appreciate a healthy pregnancy and appreciate the miracle of life, and how delicate it really is. Maybe it just wasn’t yet meant to be. There is the quote "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." How true that is. In an odd way I am grateful for this experience, as I am a better person because of it. I came to love another person. I became more unselfish and to be constantly aware of the fact that whatever I did, good or bad, it was affecting my baby. I have learned to trust in my Father in Heaven and know that things happen for a reason and that it will all be okay. I learned to rely on my wonderful husband, family, and friends. How grateful I am for them! I know that I will be with my baby again, and until then, it can watch over my little Brian and take care of the other children I hope to have in my home someday. Journaling finished 11-03-05
If you made it through all that, congratulations. :)
Supplies: Bazzill Cardstock Basic Grey PP MM rub-ons Pressed Petals chip chatter MM brads May Arts Ribbon MM Metal Plaque (says "A mother's love never fails") Karen Foster brads Misc. blooms from Michaels MM baby phrases Colorbox Ink
Does this project or one of it's images contain pornography, profanity, or other illegal or offensive material? If so, please report it and our moderators will come by and clean it up in a flash.
June 27, 2016
June 27, 2016
December 06, 2009
December 06, 2009
August 06, 2009
January 12, 2009
December 14, 2008
February 14, 2008
October 06, 2007
October 06, 2007
September 26, 2007
August 17, 2007
April 10, 2007
April 10, 2007
November 14, 2006
October 30, 2006
October 18, 2006
August 21, 2006
July 28, 2006
July 28, 2006
June 25, 2006
June 09, 2006
March 23, 2006
March 16, 2006
March 14, 2006
March 13, 2006
February 23, 2006
February 20, 2006
January 10, 2006
January 09, 2006
January 05, 2006
December 04, 2005
November 17, 2005
November 15, 2005
November 15, 2005
November 11, 2005
November 11, 2005
November 10, 2005
November 09, 2005
November 08, 2005
November 08, 2005
November 08, 2005
November 08, 2005
November 07, 2005
November 07, 2005
November 07, 2005
November 07, 2005
November 06, 2005
November 06, 2005
November 06, 2005
November 06, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 05, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005
November 04, 2005