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PAGE KIT BY DEBRA GALLOWAY. JOURNALING READS:
What would your reaction be to finding out that the man that raised you was not your real father? My reaction was not as surprising as you might think. When my mother and my biological father married, I came into the picture a year or so later. Naturally, being married so young made it more of a hardship for the two of them so they divorced right after I was born. During their separation before the divorce my mother met another man through a mutual friend. This man loved my mother even though she was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with another man's child. They married shortly after the divorce was final and I was born. In the beginning my biological parents shared visitation for about two years. My real father made the decision, regardless whether it was to benefit me or him, to grant adoption rights to the man that married my mother. And there you have it, a change of birth certificates and last name. When I got older, probably around 12 or 13, it was brought to my attention that my mother had been married many years before. I never thought much about it until one day when I went into her room while she was gone and found photo albums I shouldn't have found. I discovered wedding photos with the man she used to be married to and also photos of my mother and my adopted father. The dates on the wedding photos with my adopted father were like 5 months after I was born. So what? My mom and dad got married after I was born? That's the usual case in society...but the one thing that puzzled me was that she kept wedding photos of a man she had married years before... Is that normal? Do alot of women do this? I wouldn't know since I've only been married once and am still. A few years went by and I revealed this information to my grandmother. My grandmother made the decision upon advise from other family members to tell me the truth. She thought I had a right to know. What if I needed a donated organ or something? What a way to find out that the man you thought was your real father wasn't...What a family scandal! This was the perfect subject for a soap opera! Needless to say I was upset but on the other side I was curious to know this man. Who was he? What did he look like today? Did I resemble him? I made the decision that I would seek him out after highschool but I didn't have to wait that long. He found me after all those years...He was curious too. Over the years I have built a relationship with my biological father and I do know that he regrets the decisions he made and sometimes he doesn't regret them. If he wouldn't have granted those rights to my adopted father, I wouldn't have had him in my life. I am very fortunate to have two fathers when some have no father. This man that adopted me loved me like his own and I would have never been the wiser. There was never a time that I was a treated any different from my other siblings. My grama says it's because he loved my mother so much that he loved me too. I went to the courthouse to get a copy of my birth certificate and wouldn't you know it, there is no such certificate in existance with my real last name. When you are adopted, the original just disappears....All I have is the hospital copy that my mother gave me after highschool graduation. I never speak of my real father to any of my adopted family. His name is never mentioned. I really think, after all of these years, they believe I am biologically their grandchild or niece...and I really believe if my grama hadn't told me, I would still not know today. I think my adopted father was afraid I wouldn't love him anymore. That is untrue. I love him more today just because he loved me and raised me as his own when so many kids are parentless. I live in the same town as my real father and I see him and talk to him frequently. The relationship I have with both of my fathers is as different as night and day. That's expected since one was there when I was a child and the other was there when I was an adult. My mother and my adopted father have since divorced after 14 years of marriage, but that man will always be my dad to the end of time.
He was my daddy yesterday, he is today, and he will be tomorrow.
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