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Krissyclarkmckee
June 12, 2010

Promise

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This is the first layout I have ever done that doesn't have a picture and was done for a daily AGC to have handwritten journaling of at least 100 words. Several weeks ago when I was going through old cards and photos, I found my doctors' business cards and some appointment cards from my cancer treatment back in 2001/2002. I knew I wanted to use them in a layout and include a story about something that happened to me, and the AG daily challenge seemed the perfect opportunity to do so. The design is based on a wonderful sketch by Alda (FlyingUnicorn); I just flipped it on it's side. I plan to re-use that sketch and do a layout that actually includes pictures. The journaling reads:

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer one week before Thanksgiving in 2001. Suddenly, all my vague thoughts and plans for the future became more immediate and concrete. I wanted to see my daughters get married; I wanted to see my son graduate from high school; and, most importantly, I wanted to live long enough so that my youngest daughter, who was 18 months old, would remember me. As a divorced mother with no support network, I was consumed with worry. Who would care for my children? How would I support us? What if I died?
As I was driving to have a ct-scan done to determine the extent of the cancer, I remember these worries circling round and round in my head. Suddenly, my body began tingling as if electricity were coursing through me, and I heard a voice saying as clearly as if someone were sitting beside me, “Everything's going to be okay.” I've heard people witnessing about God talking to them but always believed they meant it was just a feeling – not an actual voice that you heard! I had to pull off the side of the road, I was so overwhelmed. And I understood that God wasn't promising me that I would live but that, no matter what, everything would be okay. I could stop worrying because He would care for me and care for my children if needed.
I later learned that the cancer had spread from my cervix to several surrounding lymph nodes. But throughout surgery, radiation and chemotherapy – I focused only on each single day. Yes, I made plans in the event that I died. But every time I started to worry, I was able to close my eyes and recapture a tiny spark of that tingling feeling, and I knew God was with me and would not go back on His word.


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