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Cheers
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Half of the 2-pager chronicling my feelings about breastfeeding my baby boy. Journaling reads: "There are so many things I love about motherhood, but breastfeeding is far and away my favorite. Before I had children, I wasn't sure I'd be physically capable. Nursing Caitrin turned out to be second nature and I was amazed. When she decided at 16 months that she was done, I felt very conflicted. I was happy that we'd had such a wonderful experience for so much longer than most. We were trying for another baby (AKA you) and I had my suspicions that nursing would hinder that process. But mostly I was sad that my baby was growing up and away from me and regretful that I never made an attempt to document our journey.
When you were born, I was psyched to start nursing again. You were four weeks early and pretty tiny as baby boys go, so even though we got off to a great start, you didn't gain enough weight to satisfy the doctors right away. Daddy and I were taking you to Dr. Gordon for weight checks every few days during your first couple weeks. He told me I had to supplement you with formula twice a day after nursing. I was devastated. After all, I knew how to nurse. I never had to supplement Caitrin and she was a good deal smaller than you were. My milk supply was good. I hated the thought of anything but my milk in my sweet little baby's belly. I cried a lot because I thought I was failing you. But because my first concern was your health, I went ahead with the supplementation. By six weeks, you had finally crossed the tenth percentile and Dr. Gordon said we could discontinue the supplement. I was thrilled.
Sometime around three months, I noticed that you did better if I fed you on demand than on a schedule. Sometimes you would nurse every two hours, but other times you'd be hungry again half an hour after we finished a feeding. I threw away the schedule I'd kept since you were born and started nursing you anytime you wanted it. I also made the decision to listen to my intuition and delay starting you on solid foods (even cereal) until 6 months, ensuring you'd get the most Mama juice for the longest amount of time possible. You have benefitted immensely. At your six-month checkup, you weighed 16 lbs., 2 oz. (25th-50th percentile) and were 27 ¾ inches long (90th) percentile!
My favorite times of day are those spent nursing you, cuddled up with you close to my heart. I love the feel of your tiny fingers wrapped around mine, the way you pat my face and play with my hair and pull off to smile at me. I love that this is a bond that only you and I share. I will nurse you as often and as long as you want. Medical experts speak of breastfeeding as the ultimate gift a mother can give her child, but I feel as though I'm being given the gift. The way you look at me with such trust and purity fills my heart with the utmost joy."
Thanks for spreading positivity!
November 19, 2011
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June 13, 2010