Becke & Me Journaling

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Becke & Me Journaling

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I have been blessed in life to have many best friends. My best friend that I talk to at least on a daily basis is Becke. She lives a few blocks from me, we are co-leaders of our Girl Scout troop, plan to share a second troop when Willow and her daughter, Adde, are kindergartners and possibly a third when her new baby, Bryn is older, we love to shop together, we make each other laugh, we pick on each other and we cry on each other's shoulders. It's great. I hope it lasts forever. One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in life is that friendships like that don't always last forever though. I have one friend from my hometown whom I've been friends with since high school. We've known each other since kindergarten but we were on-again off-again friends up until we were in high school so I don't always count the early years. She is Willow's godmother and we are close enough that we can go weeks without talking and pick up where we left off as if it has only been hours. But there have been other best friends that didn't last that long. Like Kelly in Kentucky. She was from Iowa and so we got along well, two misunderstood mid-westerners. Except that she had her daughter and she changed. I don't know if it was untreated postpartum or if she just didn't like that I didn't decide to do everything exactly the same way as her when I got pregnant with Sammi. I just don't know. Synthia and Cyndi were great friends from Kentucky who I just lost touch with because we moved away. Distance can be hard on friendships. It's how I lost Charlie from Nebraska. I think the hardest friendship to lose was Patricia. When we moved to Watertown I was a stay-at-home mom. It's hard to make friends in that situation. One of my first friends was Patricia, whose son was in Sammi's preschool. We seemed to click right off. We did everything together, from shopping to Bible studies to watching each other's kids. But then one day she called me up out of the blue and told me that she thought my friendship was conditional, that if she didn't do favors for me I wouldn't be her friend. I felt shattered. I have spent most of my adult life trying to help others. I wasn't a nice person throughout my teen years and I want to make up for that. I want to be that kind soul that reaches out to a new mom in town who doesn't know anyone. I just didn't know how to respond to her at all. I called all of my friends and apologized for asking them to do favors and they all told me that I do things for them and that it was all teamwork. I tried to reconcile with Patricia but a month or so later she pulled the rug out from under me again and I called it quits. Friendship doesn't have to be that difficult. I hope my daughters learn from me that they should surround themselves with good people who enrich their lives with love and laughter. People like Julie and Becke. Friends like the ones I've made through Girl Scouts, like Loretta. Friends you can count on, no matter their age, whether they are older enough to be your mother or young enough to be your daughter, Paula and Jamie respectively. I have so many friends and they are all a “best” in their own way.