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This is the story of my daughters birth:

I had been feeling swollen for well over a week. But this was my first pregnancy and I had no idea how swollen I should feel. We were going to my regular OB appointment anyway so I figured I could ask then. We were almost late and we were the last appointment of the day. They almost closed up without us. I'm very glad they didn't. I did my usual pee into a cup and weigh in and then sat in the examining room with Frank. The nurse came and took my blood pressure as usual. Her face immediately went into a mild panic. She left the room without saying anything. A moment later my Dr. came in and took my blood pressure herself. She asked me questions about my eye sight, if I had been dizzy or had headaches. I told her I felt fine, just very swollen. She left the room quickly and came back with some printouts in her hand. It seemed I was spilling large amounts of proteins into my urine. I had gained 25 pounds in water weight. I was in kidney failure. I had severe pre-eclampsia. This did not sink in at all. She told us we had to go to LDS hospital because our daughter (32 weeks) was just too small for this particular hospital. I told her we'd drive there after driving to my parents house to tell them. At this point I was still fairly sure I wasn't really going to have my daughter 8 weeks early. She looked at me and said that I didn't understand. She said that they would be taking me by ambulance to LDS hospital and that I was going to really have my baby in the next day or two. I could barely think. I felt like I was someone else. They took me to another room, a labor room and hooked me up to monitors and gave me an IV with magnesium sulfate. The worst drug I've ever had the displeasure to be on. Frank even held the light while they put in my catheter. The whole thing seemed surreal. I was soon loaded up into an ambulance. They would have put me in a helicopter if it hadn't been for the lightning in the area. We rushed to the hospital while Frank rushed to get my parents. Soon as I got there they gave me the first of two shots to help Emma's lungs mature to prepare her for a premature birth. The next two days were hazy and uncomfortable. They insisted I lay on one side only. The fetal monitors would not stay on. They told me to sleep, yet my arm was in an automatic blood pressure cuff and they checked my reflexes every 10 minutes. I had to go to the bathroom and I blacked out walking back to my bed. Then came the time for me to take a pill that would help open my cervix. I went into total denial. I could not do this. I had no idea how my daughter would deal being outside my body 2 months early. They told me I would be fine, but when it's your own baby and your own body it some how doesn't seem quite believable. I was even ready to leave the hospital all together, as crazy as that sounds. Because I wasn't going to to this. I couldn't have my baby now. It was April! My baby was not due until the end of June! Finally Frank got me to calm down...he's my human equivalent of Valium. I took the pill and Frank and I talked a bit about how happy we would be to get to see our baby sooner. The truth was she had a nearly 100% chance of living and she was a girl, and girls are tougher than boys in this situation. I could see his eyes glint with excitement. This is a man who was born to be a dad. I had doubts about my ability to be a good mother, but never had a doubt about Frank's ability to be a father. About an hour later my water broke. The nurse didn't believe me, she thought my catheter probably leaked or something. But I knew the difference. My body reacts very strongly to even the mildest of drugs. This is when they started the piton. The contractions weren't so bad, but they peaked high very early and stayed there. If it weren't for Emma Belle trying to come out ear first I might have been able to stand the pain. But the way she was twisting was pushing on my tailbone in the most awful way. So I got the epidural. I didn't want that. I took Lamaze so I wouldn't have to do that. The truth is I didn't get to finish Lamaze, Emma was born before the final class even took place. I was in labor for 12 hours. And the damn epidural numbed everything except my tailbone. In those 12 hours I dilated to 3 centimeters....and then back to 2. It was then determined that my body was simply not ready to give birth. So they prepared me to have a c-section. 12 hours of labor and a c-section. Life is not fair sometimes! As they got me ready I began to feel drowsy. They did not put me under, but after 2 plus days of no sleep, many different drugs and a thousand pounds of stress, my mind was giving out...the only thing keeping me awake was my fear of being cut open. Of having my baby pulled out of me and taken away immediately. I told Frank I wasn't going to do this. I was not going to have a c-section and he had to get me out of it. He told me that if I did this, he would ride a roller coaster for me. I had always teased him about his fear of roller coasters. Once he said this, for whatever strange reason, I was relaxed again. And I fell asleep. The next thing I remember was being in another room and asking where my baby was. They took me to her right away. They wheeled me into the NICU and let me hold her. There she was, tiny little thing, with my lips and Frank's eyes. So beautiful. I rubbed her head the way I rubbed my belly when I was still pregnant. She was so beautiful and so healthy. She didn't even need oxygen. Three pounds and fifteen ounces. She made it through better than her mom. There was a tough road ahead and the next year would be hard for me. But she was here, safe and healthy and in my arms. Born on the first of May...the awful April showers brought me my lovely May Flower.


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