Hidden in envelope are my hidden journaling and my mom's last goodbye. She wrote each of her loved ones a letter and gave it to my Aunt to give to us when she was gone. I am so happy to now have a special place for this special letter.
Here is my hidden journaling. As an adopted child I naturally wonder where I came from, where my birth parents are now and if I have any other siblings. But I can’t imagine my life with any other family. I believe God truly had a plan for my life when he placed me in such a loving home. My parents believed that they were unable to conceive and prayed daily for a baby to adopt. My mother had decided that if they were unable to adopt by Easter then having a child wasn’t meant to be. She received a phone call on Good Friday that there was a baby waiting for them. They took me home on April 15, 1974. I have always been her “prayer baby.” One year later my mom gave birth to my sister Sally and five years later she had Stephen. Mom and I shared a strong bond. When anyone would tease me and tell me that I was adopted and nobody wanted me, Mom would hold me and tell me that I was special because she chose me. The only thing I regret is not having enough time with my mom. I lost my mom to breast cancer just a month before my college graduation. However, throughout her battle with cancer she taught me a very important lesson. She always remained strong in her faith and never let anything break her spirit. She taught me to trust in the Lord and showed me how to live my life for God. Throughout her battle she kept a journal that I will cherish forever. She wrote on June 14, 1995:
“I can see the Lord’s hand in so many things that has happened to me. He has blessed me so much. In these past few days, with all the bad news I have had, He has given me a new understanding of this cancer that is eating away at my body. It can’t touch my spirit! My spirit that will be with the Lord someday. This thought helps me so much and I’m able to face whatever happens. Each day that I have is truly a gift from God. I treasure the moments I spend with my husband, kids, and my friends. I know I took so many things for granted before I had this disease. I am so thankful that God has given me these last five years.” The day that I lost my mother has forever changed me. I am so sad that my daughter will never know her grandmother and what a wonderful person she was. My only hope is that I can raise my daughter with the same love, morals and values with which my mother raised me.