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Monday, January 14th, 2013 – The day of Joe's brain surgery! We stayed in a hotel in Tampa the night before so we could have Joe at the hospital at 5:00AM for surgery.

As soon as Joe was taken to surgery Bill got a phone call with wonderful news! Medicare was already paying for 80% of the medical bills but for but Joe was responsible for the remaining 20%. We knew that could still wipe us out financially but we decided to proceed with the surgery anyway - we never gave a thought to not doing the surgery!

Bill applied earlier to the military for dependency status for Joe. We knew it was a long shot since Joe is Bill's step-son and Joe is 36 years old but he met the criteria; we were paying more than 50% of his living expenses so Bill filled out the paperwork. This phone call confirmed that Joe had been approved for military dependency status which meant that Tri-Care, the insurance used by the military, would pay the other 20% of Joe's medical expenses! Joe would not owe anything for his brain surgery! As an additional benefit Joe would be able to enjoy military flights, shop at the commissary and BX and he would have other military dependent's priviledges!

Bill and I left the hospital and made a quick trip to McDill (base in Tampa) to fill out paperwork to start Joe on Tri-Care and get the ball rolling for his benefits to make sure this procedure would be covered. They not only said the surgery would be covered, since Joe has had the same medical situation since we were married in 2009 they started his dependence at that time so all the bills stacking up at home would be completely covered!

Bill insisted that I eat something since I didn't eat that morning and the surgery would be at least 2 or 3 more hours if not longer so I managed to eat half of a Subway meatball sandwich while we were still on the base. However, I was really anxious to get back to the hospital.

Once we got back it was frustrating because we could not get information. No one was furnishing updates and the surgery lasted almost 2 hours longer than we expected so towards the end I was starting to turn into a basket case although in the general scheme of things, I held it together pretty well. We thought he would be out of surgery around 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon and it was almost 5:00 when we got word that the surgery was over and he was doing well.


We were able to see Joe in the recovery room but he was asleep. We were prepared for lots of bandages and maybe something over the top of his head, possibly some bruising - we expected him to look like he had been in a fight and lost. Instead, he was sleeping peacefully and you would not have even known he had surgery except there was a bandage above his left ear. We couldn't believe it! He just looked like he had a small cut with a bandage on it and was taking a peaceful nap.

For the rest of the day wanted to sleep – at one point he opened his eyes for about 30 seconds to point to his nose and tell the doctor how many fingers he was holding up and then he went back to sleep. They only let us stay in the recovery room for about 15 minutes because it was full of patients just coming out of surgery. They told us we could come back later that evening but could only stay a few minutes then too. He didn't wake up at all when we went back that evening.

He was scheduled to be moved into ICU Tuesday morning but they didn't have a room available so they kept him in the recovery room all day Tuesday and let him sleep. We were only allowed to tiptoe into the recovery room a few times to see him on Tuesday but we couldn't stay with him more than about 15 minutes at a time. They didn't even give us a place to sit down in the recovery room - we could just peek in and see that he was sleeping peacefully and stand by his bed for a few minutes.

Wednesday was another day spent sleeping but he had been moved into a private ICU room which was large enough for all the equipment he was hooked up to! Machines and monitors were everywhere. He woke up periodically for 5 or 10 minutes at a time but his jaw was very sore and he had no appetite and he still just wanted to sleep. We were told he would have a lot of pain in his jaw because they had to cut through the jaw muscle to get to his brain and that is what hurt him. He did not want to eat and did not talk because talking was painful since his jaw muscle was so sore.

Bill and I brought him plenty of Ensure shakes and he drank sports drinks but wasn't ready for solid food yet although he could have it whenever he wanted it. By the end of Wednesday he could get up to go the bathroom and sit up for a few minutes at a time but mostly he just slept.


On Thursday morning a physical therapist made him walk up a flight of stairs and back down again. The doctor said he would release him but he had to have plenty of rest.

Bill had a license plate in St. Petersburg which is 20 minutes from the hospital. We had booked a hotel room in St. Petersburg so Bill could attend his license plate convention and I could stay in the hotel with Joe all day so he could rest. Then if we had an emergency and had to go back to the hospital we were only 20 minutes away instead of an hour and a half away. Plus the hotel was minutes from the license plate convention so Bill was only a phone call away if we needed him during the day.

Before we went to Tampa for the surgery we gave Joe the choice of whether he wanted to go home when he got released or whether he wanted to go to a hotel in St. Petersburg and he wanted to go to the hotel in case he had to go back to the hospital. He didn't like the idea of being so far away from his doctor's so soon after the surgery.

Our hotel balcony overlooked the beach and ocean although Joe only spent a few minutes enjoying the vew. I spent a lot of time on the balcony looking at the water while Joe slept. He still didn't want anything to eat Thursday or Thursday night and I was starting to get concerned even though he doctors told me not to be.

Friday Joe started staying awake for longer periods but still slept most of the day. That evening after the license plate meet Bill and I ran to the grocery store and bought pudding, Jello, oatmeal – every soft thing we could find for Joe. We bought a whole rotisserie chicken for the two of us.

When we got home I asked Joe, “Will you try to eat something? We have oatmeal and pudding and all kinds of things for you that you like.” He said, “Is there enough chicken for me?”

He ate a thigh and a drumstick! It was hard for him to eat but he ate the chicken and then went to sleep for the night.

The next morning I walked next door to the Waffle House and came back with an order of scrambled eggs with cheese for Joe. He ate every bite!

On Saturday afternoon after the license plate convention was over we drove back home with Joe and he got settled into his house. That night Angie arrived from Georgia to stay in our guest house – she was so concerned about Joe, she wanted to see for herself that he was okay and I will always be grateful to her for being there that next week.

She and I made a huge double batch of baked macaroni and cheese (actually she did most of the work). It was so comforting to know that she was here to help with whatever Joe needed. It had been a difficult week and I can never express how wonderful it was to have Angie to help.


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