Mother's Day Weekend!
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On April 15, 2002, me, Daddy and Grandma Parkin went up to the U of U hospital at 8:45 am. Earlier, at 6:30am, I had put some medicine called Cytotec next to my cervix to help it to soften and dilate. At the hospital they drew some blood and the nurse tried to put an IV in my arm so they could give me some medicine for the cramping. The nurse blew a vein and hurt me a lot trying to do that. (not in the journaling, but wanted to add here, that I was totally numb emotionally. I hadn't cried at all that morning and this nurse used zero numbing medicine on my vein.) She had to call an anesthesia doctor to come in and do it. He got it in the first try. I'm here so the doctor can take you out of me today. I am so very sad, but I'm trying to be brave. Since your spirit is no longer there, they have to take your little body out of me. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I am so sorry. You must be absolutely perfect if you were not allowed to stay on this earth. I remembered to tell them to take some pictures first. I went into surgery just before 1:00 pm. (there was an emergency at my reg scheduled time, so they were running behind) When I woke up afterward, all I could do was cry. I remember the nurse in recovery saying, "It's okay if you cry. You just go ahead". After recovery, I went to the post-op ward to finish waking up. (I remember it taking a long time and the nurse said that we wake up when we feel ready to face whatever it is that we were there for. Made sense.) We went home to find Grandpa & Grandma Smith at our house. Someone had brought dinner in again.
(here there is just a list of people who brought dinner and the dates they brought them)
Everyone has been so great! Family and most of the ward volunteered to do just about everything for us. So many people called, visited and babysat the kids--even when Mom was home. Some of the babysitters were.....(list of babysitters)
A few days after the surgery, Zack Ferrin brought a book called "Gone Too Soon" written by an LDS woman who had been through the same thing. I read it all the way through. (it was from several couples in the neighborhood)
Everyone had helped & done so much. It has been extremely hard to cope with.
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Thanks for spreading positivity!
July 10, 2006
July 10, 2006
July 08, 2006
July 08, 2006
July 08, 2006