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My page for the Lucky Heartbreak challenge on TDC blog. Papers and most elements from Altered Girl by ViVa Artistry. Silver glitter alpha by We Are Story Tellers (no longer available). Shattered silver heart from Just a Mini Christmas by JM DesignsClover freebie by Querky Twerp.Journaling reads:From the time I was 15 years old, I knew exactly what I wanted to be, how I wanted to spend my life. I knew exactly who I was and what I needed to do in order to achieve my well-planned goals. I wanted to be a fighter pilot and astronaut. I wanted to attend the US Air Force Academy and spend my career as an officer in the service of the United States.I knew the competition would be fierce for one of the coveted spots. I rose through the ranks of the Civil Air Patrol - a breeding ground for future Air Force officers. I even got my student pilot's license. I spent the next three years of my life studying advanced subjects in high school and honing my leadership skills in various youth organizations. I excelled in almost everything I did. I spent hundreds of dollars of my parents hard-earned money, their patience and time, meeting every requirement and jumping through every hoop thrown at me. And still the AFA didn't want me.I was heart-broken. I was crushed. I was shattered. I was lost. For the first time in my life I was absolutely lost. I didn't know what I did wrong. I didn't know what to do from then. I didn't know how to live.I spent a year studying Aerospace Engineering at nearby university, I even joined the ROTC for awhile. But I'd already lost my heart. That wasn't the path I'd worked so hard for and I couldn't see my goals materializing any more. So I gave it all up.I still had no clue what I wanted to do and ended up wandering around in my studies for awhile. I had a couple of very hard years in university. Studying used to be easy. Relationships easy. Getting what I wanted, easy. Not anymore. It wasn't that the level of difficulty had changed, it was my broken spirit. University was the first time I rebelled against my parents. And being so lost inside, I made some very bad and damaging decisions.But like most broken hearts, mine slowly mended. I could find a new direction, set a new goal. It wasn't nearly as exciting as traveling to space, but at least it would let me travel somewhere, someday. I decided on International Business.Once I had made up my mind, I was able to graduate in three years. Eventually I did an internship for my state's International Trade Office and was even offered a job there – as an administrative assistant. Needless to say, I turned it down. I wouldn't settle for NO this time. I was going to find a way to blaze my trail.Within two weeks I was offered a teaching job in Japan and a few weeks after that was on a plane to Tokyo. It all happened so quickly. It wasn't exactly the big international career that I had envisioned, but it was a start. It was a foot in the door – or out the door as the case may be.I had planned on staying in Japan only one year, returning to America and getting a job at some international firm that would take me around the world. Another option I was considering was to join the Peace Corps. Either way I would still be seeing the world. No longer would I let my life be centered around a single option. No longer would I let rejection throw me into a pit of despair. I had survived and I planned to live fully after that.Fast forward to today. A few years ago a scandal broke about severe hazing and sexual harassment at the military academies. Many of the crimes occurred during the years that I would have been there had I been accepted. I can look back on it all now and see that in a way I was lucky. I can't assume that I would have been a target of the crimes, but I have to consider that God allowed me the heartbreak of not getting accepted instead of a bigger devastation that could have been. I will never know.My plans to return home or join the Peace Corps never realized because I ended up extending my contract term in Japan, and during that time I met and fell in love with a local man. It was no easy decision to marry him and thereby agree to stay in Japan for an undetermined length of time. I knew I would be giving up some of my goals to see more of the world. But I made that decision and I don't regret it.I know that my life is still an open book to be written. I know there will be sudden change and heartbreak. But I know that only God is in control of my days and I trust that he is leading me on this journey. I believe that he is molding me with every twist and turn. And I know that I am stronger.Thank you so much for looking!


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