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<p>Well, here we go (and I think I went over on characters, so i'm sorry if all the journaling doesn't show!). I created this layout as part of the Digiscrappin' contest (full journaling and credits there) last month and debated whether or not to post it anywhere else, but decided I should. :) It's the layout I've been putting off since I started scrapping because along with the journaling comes some very powerful emotions. This page is written to my sister. Her boyfriend was killed in a car accident 4 years ago this summer and I wanted to tell her my feelings about that time in our lives. I'm making myself very raw here, but this is a page I'll cherish forever. If even one of you reading this tells someone you love just how much they mean to you today, putting myself ‘out there’ will be well worth it. <p>Truly- thank you for taking a closer look at this story.<p>Journaling: I hope that someday everyone will take the time to appreciate the ones they love, that no moment is taken for granted, and that there is an answer for young life taken away that our minds simply cannot comprehend. I hope that the plan for our lives, the twists and turns are someday revealed to us. I hope that someday I understand….. <p>A few days ago, I happened upon the video for What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts. The opening scene shows a young girl in hysterics, crying, screaming, unable to put the emotional pain she is feeling into words and actions. When you've felt that type of pain, it stays with you forever, you recognize it in others, and pray that you have the strength to move through it. Emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain. The night I received the call that Justin had been in accident was the most emotionally painful night of my life and sadly could not have been even half as bad as what you were going through. We are so close, best friends and sisters, often I pick up the phone to call you and you're already on the other line. I felt your pain that night. We stayed awake sobbing into the phone- unable to hold you, to wipe away your tears, to just be there for you, was excruciatingly painful. I awoke from fits of sleep crying, not knowing what to do with myself, crawling into ball, thinking over and over again how you'd never be able to hold each other again, to say I love you, to laugh, smile, and share your lives together. After the formalities of the funeral and goodbyes had passed, I finally made it home to see you. It was your 21st birthday, a day that Justin had planned to spend with you. It seemed that many had already forgotten, they weren't close enough to him or you to know that the pain was still there, and always will be. We talked about Heaven, about who we get to spend our days in Heaven with- is it with all you've loved? What if you fell in love again someday? Would he be happy for you? Would he also get to be with you for an eternity? What really happens to our love over a lifetime? We also got to spend some quiet time together, sometimes no words need to be said between sisters to understand our thoughts and feelings. Since that day, my life, our lives, have never been the same. The impact of losing someone so suddenly stays with you forever. I say I love you more, I worry less about the things that won't matter years from now and more about preserving and making memories to sustain ourselves and loved ones when we're no longer here. For you, Ames- I think there is an answer for why your lives were forever entwined. His life, his love, his death, your life, your love, your celebration of his life, led you to the answer. People do not wander aimlessly into each other's lives. There is purpose. There is direction. There is meaning. You met the man you are going to marry because you shared a common love- Justin. He brought you together, he is watching over both of you, knowing you are safe in each other's arms. Out of tragedy, there can be serenity. Justin was an angel. He was the kindest, most gentle and fun-loving person. He LOVED life, he lived without regrets and cherished every day. He was the epitome of living life to the fullest and making the best of every moment we spend on Earth. <p>How could he not have been an angel? There are more than angels watching over me?? I believe…oh, I believe.<p>Credits: Craft paper by Robin Carlton from “Bears n Blossoms n Beads- Oh My!” at Sweet Shoppe Designs, Alpha Polaroid frames by MandaBean at Sweet Shoppe Designs, Floral overlays by Rhonna Farrer from “NSD Cheer” at 2 Peas in a Bucket, Word art by Jen Wilson from “Living- Hoping” at Scrapbook-Bytes. Font- Susie's Hand. Thanks!!


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