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This was a tough page for me, but a story that I needed to tell. It's about my son's premature birth and the time that we spent in the NICU. I've done other pages about this time in our lives, but they seem to come in spurts when I can handle them.Inside the little envelope at the top is a little note to my son. Just expressing that even though having a very sick premature baby was the most difficult experience of my life, he was so worth it. And how lucky and blessed we are to have him. The journaling reads:There was a time when I could not stand to look at a sick or premature baby. I remember having to change the channel anytime those type of stories were on the news or on TLC. I just couldn’t watch. The image of those tiny fetal looking babies made me flinch. How ironic that I would become a mom at just 28 weeks gestation to a tiny, sick, 2-pound boy. I found myself right smack in the middle of a nightmare that seemingly would never end.And so I watched.I watched a respirator breathe for him because he couldn’t.I watched as all of his little veins collapsed from too many IVs. They put one in his forehead.I watched as he turned blue one day because of apnea.I watched a team of doctors rush in to save him at 3 weeks old when he developed sepsis and almost died.I watched as he developed a hole in his heart.I watched when an IV leaked a caustic substance onto his skin and burned a big hole in his forearm.For 58 days I watched my boy struggle and suffer. I couldn’t change the channel, because this was now my life. I didn’t flinch anymore and this became my normal.
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Thanks for spreading positivity!
January 14, 2016