Journaling: #5 Marriage is for Losers
If I teach you nothing else about family life, I hope I teach you that you marriage can and should be the best thing that ever happens to you.
This can come by carefully considering your companion as best as you can before marriage, then total commitment afterward. It’s about losing your preconceptions, losing your need to be “right” or “best, and about losing the selfish part of yourself in behalf of your spouse. (It’s about being a lot more like your dad!)
Dr. Kelly Flanagan says, ”In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.” I hope I can always be the a loser!