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This is the 1pg LO that will be the inside front of my weight loss scrapbook. Clearly, I don't yet have a knack for photographing LOs - it's a little washed out, but the pic I took without the flash didn't look nearly as good.

Here's the journaling:

I'm 30!!
October 2, 2006

The age of thirty could not have come at a better time – new decade, new beginnings. I need to create some happy new beginnings, because twenty~nine was quite possibly the worst year of my life. During that year...

My mom had a seizure and couldn't drive, leaving her absolutely miserable.

Bryan and I moved, which is always stressful, but we felt so far away from home and so far removed from our friends that we were both depressed and took it out on each other, to the point where we weren't quite sure whether we'd make it as a couple.

My beloved Grandmother passed away July 25th, 2006 at the age of 78. Sixteen hours later I was on a plane back to New York, where I spent the darkest days of my life at her wake, funeral and burial, supporting and being supported by my family.

My mom had a heart attack almost a year to the day after the seizure.

Add work stress to all of this, including having three different supervisors, three different desk changes, a drastic pay cut, mandatory overtime and uncertainty as to whether Bryan's department would still be around by year's end.

In short, it's been a very rough year for me and my family, and I've realized that life is way too short not to get the most enjoyment out of it.

I vow that the year during which I am 30 years old will be a better one, and the first way I am going to make 30 “A New Decade, A New Beginning,” is to begin my journey to a happier, healthier Kat.

I planted myself firmly in the world of denial in my 20s. "Well, yeah, I'm fat, but I'm not having any health problems because of it, I'm perfectly healthy, so I can just go on like this and be okay." It's not true.

Other than physical signs my body has given me, my mind has some of its own. The more I weigh, the more introverted, quiet and agoraphobic I become. Much of the time, I only want to go out when I have my husband or my closest and most trusted friends with me - having at least one of them around is my security blanket. I had a membership at the YMCA for seven months before I actually went, because I was too scared to go. After all, what's a fat chick doing at a gym?

But I can't put it off any longer. Thirty is going to be the year.

This scrapbook is dedicated to my weight-loss journey. Some of the pictures I'll be placing on the first few pages are embarrassing to me and will be painful to scrap. But while those pictures may not reflect what I actually see when I look in the mirror, they reflect what I truly look like and how other people see me.

And that has to change.


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