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wow... what a week this has been. we are home now, but she is still not herself at all. i'm hoping she'll perk up in the next day or so. i miss her laugh so much. my poor husband was a little traumatized by this page. i know it's somber, but that's the tone of my disposition right now (& alyssa's). since scrapping has become almost more of a journaling thing for me now... i just sort of poor my emotions into it. very theraputic. so get ready... the next few pages may be a little sad until she comes back to life. i took this picture (& many others) about 7 minutes after the doctor told us she could go home. i know it doesn't look like it, but she is actually smiling as she's looking out the big huge window from her hospital room. we were on the 5th floor & she had never seen the world from that angle. she was facinated by the whole thing. one of the few times we got her to smile during this stay. these questions are actual thoughts that raced through my mind (in order) over these few days. they all happened and we got through it all. i think the Holy Spirit reached back and pulled the file in my mind of these wonderful words of our old pastor and dear friend - and thank goodness... they have brought me so much comfort during this time. i've always thought "oh my gosh, if something like this ever happened to either of my kids, i just wouldn't be able to handle it. i don't see how these poor mothers do it with children who have sicknesses that keep them in the hospital. wow... what a wonderful God we have!! JOURNALING: What if you get this stomach flu? What if you get too dehydrated? What if you have to go to the ER? What if you have to be admitted? What if you try to take out your IV? What if you wake up crying again? What if your glucose level doesn't come back up? What if you won't eat? What if you have to stay here another night? What if they have to take more blood? What if you don't rest after they give you Benadryl? What if your blood work comes back abnormal again? What if you won't eat or drink anything? What... -God does not give us grace for what if. He gives us grace for what is.


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