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Mosbarger
March 31, 2007

Me Evolved

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For the BOM challenge I am in. This was to be about my hopes, dreams, and wishes. Journaling reads: Funny to look back and see just how my hopes, dreams, and wishes have evolved. I remember when I was a child, I would hope for things like frequent trips to Disneyland, a new Baby Alive doll, more Barbies because 20 was never enough- oh, and they needed a new house every year. As I got a little older, say 10, I wanted desperately to wake up and be Brooke Shields. She was my idol at that tender age. I also wanted more than anything to be able to dance and perform just like Alex did in Flashdance. No one, in my opinion, could move their feet like she could, and I watched the movie three times a day to learn, or pretend to learn, every step. As I entered my teen years, all I wished and prayed for was a good hair day, and having been a teen in the late eighties and early nineties, that prayer was always unanswered. A good hair day was incredibly important to me. And I must not forget about all the make-up involved in trying to look perfect- you know, just like one of those rock video girls? I even dreamed of becoming a make-up artist, moving to New York, and making millions. While all of my friends were entering Universities after High School, I went off to Cosmetology school to pursue my dream. That is when life really slapped me in my done-up face. I then began to pray for my ex-boyfriend and I to finally get married, have children, and buy a house. When those notions failed after 8 years, I began to hope and dream of making enough money to support myself and my shopping habits. I wished for brand name clothes and nice places to live. Instead I met my husband. We bought house and got married. i wished and hoped that we wouldn't lose our jobs and in return, lose our nice cars and nice home. I also prayed a hundred times a day for two years that I would finally become pregnant, and wouldn't have to go through anymore invasive procedures to conceive. My prayers were finally answered with two beautiful daughters. Now, as a mother of two girls, I only hope that they will be healthy and happy with themselves and their lives. I hope that they will understand that we can not have as many toys or vacations as others because I choose to stay home and raise them, and the money doesn't come that easy. As for me, as an individual, I hope, pray, and wish for my family to be healthy and safe. That my mom, the woman I love the most, can get a new heart to stay alive long enough to see her grandchildren, who she loves the most, grow. I also hope for great hand-me-downs, jeans that aren't torn to shreds, all of my bills be paid on time, and at least ONE day out of the week to have time to fix my hair and apply a little lip gloss. Funny how things change.


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