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My husband and I waited a long time to have a baby. We wanted it to be perfect. We wanted to be "ready". Getting pregnant was not a problem and for 3 months it was great (ok there WAS morning sickness but I got over it)- then the first signs of distress started showing on the sonograms. Lola had a large balloon of fluid on the back of her neck. Genetic tests were ordered and the doctor recommended I "end the pregnancy" which STILL shocks me to the bone today. I was told she would not survive or if she did she would be severely handicapped in some way but NO ONE could give me a sure answer so I stuck it out like the snub nosed rat terrier I am. 4 months later she was born via c section and in severe respiratory distress. She was immediately put in a respirator- I didn't get to see her the first day. Tubes were threaded into her lungs to drain fluid that had collected there. I was not allowed to touch her or comfort her for weeks- my breast milk made her condition worse so she was not fed anything but what was in the IV for 5 days. 2 months later, doctors found there were no genetic abnormalities, no heart or other organ defects- no one could answer what went wrong but we got to take her home. Today she is a happy healthy 12 month old- I'm still recovering from the scare but she's already walking, yelling for Dada and bopping along to Jazz music. So hope does spring and I am a lucky blessed woman to witness it first hand.


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